Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Nightwish - Eva



Old song... I know! But, I'm in the mood for some beautiful songs like this one.

6:30 winter morn
Snow keeps falling, silent dawn
A rose by any other name
Eva leaves her Swanbrook home
A kindest heart which always made
Me ashamed of my own
She walks alone but not without her name

Eva flies away
Dreams the world far away
In this cruel children's game
There's no friend to call her name
Eva sails away
Dreams the world far away
The Good in her will be my sunflower field

Mocked by man to depths of shame
Little girl with life ahead
For a memory of one kind word
She would stay among the beasts
Time for one more daring dream
Before her escape, edenbeam
We kill with her own loving heart

Eva flies away
Dreams the world far away
In this cruel children's game
There's no friend to call her name
Eva sails away
Dreams the world far away
The Good in her will be my sunflower field

Just watch this!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Rab Ne Bana Di Movie...


We made our usual last minute plans to grab a movie today. On my insistence, we chose to watch 'Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi' at Anand. We had read all the reviews and despite the fact that most reviewers had panned it, we decided to try and see if we could get lucky.

I have to say that I loved the movie. Ok, so Anushka is a real babe and the whole trip was worth it just to see how she acted. I still feel that the overall feel of the movie was nice. When was the last time you saw a movie with characters like these? A timid, well-mannered middle-class man with simple dreams and simple needs. A girl, modern in many ways and yet simple and traditional in a likable way. And a story of their lives Hindi movie ishtyle.

Goes to show that even in today's world there is sense in portraying such characters because people still identify with them. A movie, simple and funny, not gay (no offense), with no violence, with lovely songs, and a star-cast that can make you smile the two and a half hours you sit in the movie hall is definitely worth my time. Like I seem to say a lot nowadays, we need a little more love in our world anyway.

I know a lot of people demanded histrionics and a stronger storyline. Some people even mentioned that they were sick of Shahrukh Khan's style of acting. Some even wondered at how the girl couldn't recognize her own husband. Valid questions I suppose. But... its just a movie guys. How many movies make you come out of the movie hall smiling? It felt nice watching a simple movie like this after so many years. Its a Hindi movie - no go looking for accuracy - situational, factual or logical. Therefore, don't look. Just enjoy!

Ok. Enough 'Macho-di.'

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Your World Is Changing...


I just read and commented on a friend's blog. His post was about the ineptitude of our politicians in handling the Mumbai terror attacks. There was so much of hate and frustration in his post. This is a sentiment expressed all over the blogosphere. All of sudden, there is so much of hate, so much of sadness, and so much of frustration. At times, all this is so overwhelming. Everywhere you go, people only talk about this.

Can we have a little peace? Its not so much to ask for. All that hatred is slowly finding its way in to all of our lives. If you're not aware of it yet, I think its time you looked in to yourself and asked yourself if you're the same innocent person you were some time back. Oddly, I don't feel like changing in any way, but I can feel my world change about me. Its a disorienting feeling that leaves you with empty spaces in your heart. I'm not going to let that happen. Time for me to fix my world again.

Time to heal. Peace!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

PSP: How much more do I wait?


My PSP is on its way and loads of people already know that because I've been going around like an energizer bunny telling everyone. It should be here a little before New Year. I am getting the Ratchet & Clank Entertainment Pack. This comes with the Ratchet & Clank game. I am also buying the Star Wars: Force Unleashed game. This is among the best things I've been gifted ever. :)

A Geek Story



LOL Shashi!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

You Are Here.


Have you read one of those books where you identify with the character at some level even though the character is different from you in so many obvious ways. Totally loved reading what Arshi, the protagonist of the story felt like in different situations. The best part about this book is that its been authored by a fellow blogger blogger, the Compulsive Confessor. The author of the book and the blog is Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan.

Read it. I loved reading it a lot.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Awww part.

So, some people who read my blog evidently pushed the post on the sarcasm to my whole team and I had some close(r) friends asking me about it. I suppose they felt hurt. I apologize to those it was not intended to hurt. What can I say, shit happens.

This post was not about making a statement and hoping people find it and then spread it around for me. It is personal space and the feelings expressed are personal and are not directed at anyone in particular. While most people had something genuine to write, for others, it was a chore. It has been a chore for them to get to know me better too. So, some of those people just echoed the common sentiment that I am sarcastic. Well, I am to an extent. But the intentions were never to hurt people. I mean, was it so tough for people to see that?

I have nothing more to say on this.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

12 December 2008 - 13 December 2008.


10:30: My grandpa suddenly complained of severe rigor and was unable to breathe. I rushed down and got the oxygen cylinder ready. His breathing steadied a bit. I began to notice that his rigor kept getting worse. Finally, we decided to take him to the hospital. He kept gasping for breath even though we had the oxygen cylinder put to his mouth. I noticed that the cylinder was pretty near empty by the time we were midway to the hospital. I didn't tell him that because I was worried he would panic even more than what he already was. Being an asthmatic, I know what he felt like as he gasped. But, it was scary seeing it from the outside for the first time.

11:30: We're at the hospital. Hes been taken to the E.R. Almost as soon as he was put on the oxygen cylinder there, he began to feel better. Evidently, the little oxygen cylinder we had was not working as well as we had hoped it would. His rigor had subsided quite a bit. I felt a little relaxed knowing that he was better now.

12:00: Panic at the hospital as another patient was brought in. An old man in his sixties, his head hanging to one side and his hand almost falling off the stretcher. I feared the worst but I forced my mind to shut out those thoughts. The old lady and the young man accompanying her clung to eachother anxious to know what has happened. The doctor walked out, slowly and deliberately over to the duo and softly broke the news that the man was no more. It was scary. The womans' wails filled the tiny ER. It was the saddest thing I had ever seen.

01:00: Grandpa is moved in to the ICU. He seems to be fine. I stay back with him while the others leave for home. Grandpa jokes that he thought he was a goner this time. I smiled and told him that I had experienced this many-a-time and that I was still around. He smiled. Barely able to talk, he still found the energy to tell me how glad he was that everything worked out and that he was on his way to recovery. I sat with him for about two hours. You pull a few strings in India, and they even let you sit in the ICU. It was an odd sight. My grandpa lying there in the middle of all the wires and pipes with the machines making a steady and rhythmic tune. I don't want to ever see that again.

03:30: They offered an empty room to get some sleep in. I gladly accepted their offer. My night was slowly coming to an end. I slept deeply. Had a few disturbing dreams (I wont call them nightmares) but they weren't about grandpa. I guess I know that he'll recover and be fine soon. I hope he gets back home soon.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Numbing The Pain

Many a time, I've obsessed about extreme feelings. I feel scared to use words like death or suicide. I've never walked that close to the edge. But, I have felt emotions strong enough to feel pain -- searing, excruciating pain. Makes the mind hallucinate, do things you'd never do. Just anything to get the pain to stop. Darkness that engulfs the mind and the soul - my mind trained to fight it - just making this more difficult than it should be. All I want is reassurance and peace too. Is it too much to ask? Another chance at peace? Why can't I lie to myself like others do? Condemned be the one who has to face his fears daily and not know that there be a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I've moved on ... quite a while back. I was surprised that these feelings suddenly surfaced again. I was listening to this beautiful song then.




Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing toothache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensation's overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that’s alright
Jimmy says its better than here,
I’ll tell you what

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensation's overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

ho novacaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensation's overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

Shock and Awww!



How sarcastic am I? Quite sarcastic apparently. At a recent team outing, the guys (more girls than guys really and sadly more girl-like guys than guys too) were supposed to write something each of them wished for me this Christmas. Evidently, the literary geniuses read that as something they wished I would do rather than something they wished for me. Each one of them mentioned that I ought to be less sarcastic and all. What a shit gift to receive and that too from a audience like that.

It was funny that some people thought I would change for them. I mean how asinine are they if they're going to want me to change for them. Evidently, they had their heads much farther up their a$$@$ than I had previously thought.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Gotta Be Somebody- Nickelback



This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with

`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And damn it this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

You can´t give up!
When you're Lookin´ for a diamond in the rough
Because you never know when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh.

Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There `s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

War On Mumbai!

Terrorists struck the Maximum City at nine places on the 25th. They left the city scarred and angry. The anger is not limited to the people affected as it usually is in our country. There is a wide spread feeling of angst and discontent across the country. Our policemen and army personnel have laid down their lives to contain the situation and all the politicians could do was use the situation against their political rivals. That is sad and disgusting at so many levels. The people have a right to feel agitated.

There are a few things that have come out of all this which are worth noting and some of which can be implemented.

1. Do we have a central agency that specifically deals with terror threats of this sort? If not, no better time than now to create one. This force should be accountable only to the highest authority in our country, the President.

2. Why do our policemen carry World War I rifles to a fire fight? For a country this big, can't we afford to equip our officers and jawans with decent weapons? The terrorists were equipped with A.K. 47s and our men with those antique pieces that would guarantee our men a place in history themselves?

3. The security levels at these places is very lax. Why is it so? We crib about having higher levels of unemployment. I think that this could be an avenue for employment. We need to beef up the security at places like the ones that were attacked. Even if they don't end up really doing much for the security bit, they would at least end up relaying the information across town.

4. Information gathered by various agencies is not shared. I suppose this is an issue in every country. However, things in India are different enough to warrant such an access to information. I suppose this rings back to the first point about having a centralized agency to fight terror.

Like every other time, are we going to let all of this go? All the stuff I mentioned were points that came up in all the discussions that followed this sad event. Everyone heard it. Will someone do something about it?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

India beat England 5-0

India won! We've now beaten England 5-0 in the seven match series. Dhoni and Raina steadied the innings towards the end after the brilliant start by Sehwag and Tendulkar. We cruised to victory easily. One would wonder if there could be anything that could mar such a happy occasion. Apparently there is something.

The match being telecast on Neo Cricket was constantly interrupted to show ads. They would not only show ads between overs but even if there was a replay or if a third umpire decision was pending. Any little free time and you'd see an ad. Most of the time, the ads would be shown till the very last moment and we'd be taken back to be shown the main shot after which another ad would be shown. This is worst example of unprofessional advertising means employed by any ad agency.

Neo Cricket is supposed to be a channel dedicated to Cricket and is supposed to be for Cricket lovers. The blatant misuse of their advertising rights shows us that money takes precedence over morals. I hope that this channel is not given anymore exclusive broadcasting rights.

P.S. I am super happy that India is rocking now!!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Live as if...

Just something I heard in passing:

Work as if you have no need of the money.
Love as if nobody ever made you suffer.
Dance as if nobody is watching you.
Sing as if nobody is hearing you.
Live as if it were heaven on earth.

You ask me if this is really possible? Well, you'll never know till you try. :) It did occur to me that this did look a lot like those annoying email forwards we keep getting. This one in particular was interesting. Have we ever given thought to how we live our lives? Life is not about patterns but it is more about opening up and exploring new emotions.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Still Missing You!




Been six months since the big breakup -- the big kapish! All these days later, I sat down to see if this has changed me in any way. And apparently it has. It was so much easier back then. I didn't care for anyone else and I didn't care if others cared either. Its no fun to be alone so suddenly. It sucks to feel so incomplete. The world around me has changed. I know there are some people who definitely hate me for some reason. Thats the sad part - I don't even know the reason. This seems so much the like the old days at college.

Considering how vulnerable I feel, I find it even more difficult to start over with all these people behaving in such a manner. I think I should take off for some time and work on other things. Obviously, work is not as fulfilling and time-consuming as I hoped it would be. It is tough to understand what I'm going through because - as cliched as it may sound - I don't have words to describe the loneliness. I have become unusually rude to people to keep them away from me. I know of many people I could have really hurt if I let my sarcasm out. Thank god I've not fallen that far.

I am writing all this so that I know what I felt like even after I have healed. I understand that the first step in healing is to forget the past. I've done a lot of things I regret. Its time to move on. And thats what I am going to do. I have made many new friends who I like. I don't care overly much for the ones who know hate me. At the end of the day, my problems and these people are probably nothing compared to what some others are going through. I call a time-out.

Love & Peace

- Aj

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Laura Pausini - Inveche No



This song is in a language I don't understand. Yet I find this song captivating and I can't stop listening to it. I've got the lyrics. Hope everyone listening to this song enjoys the music.

Forse bastava respirare, solo respirare un pò
fino a riprendersi ogni battito
e non cercare lattimo, per andar via (non andare via)
perchè non può essere abitudine
dicembre senza te, chi resta qui spera limpossibile

Invece no, non cè più tempo per spiegare
per chiedere se ti avevo dato amore
io sono qui e avrei da dire ancora, ancora

Perche si spezzano tra i denti
le cose più importanti
quelle parole che non osiamo mai
e faccio un tuffo nel dolore, per farle risalire
riportarle qui, una per una qui
le senti tu pesano e si posano per sempre su di noi
e se manchi tu, io non so riperterle io non riesco a dirle più

Invece no, qui piovono i ricordi
ed io farei di più, di ammettere che è tardi
come vorrei, poter parlare ancora ancora

E Invece no, non ho più tempo per spiegare
avevo anchio ( io) qualcosa da sperare davanti a me
qualcosa da finire insieme a te.

Forse mi basta respirare
solo respirare un pò
Forse è Tardi, forse invece no.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Proud To Be An Indian!



I am not proud to be an Indian! The lady on the news channel kept repeating this throughout the debate. This lady was the distressed wife of a sailor whose ship has been hijacked by Somalian pirates and she was irate and blamed the government for not doing anything to save her husband.

Another girl recounted her sad story of the search for her father who was kidnapped by the Naxals. She mentioned that the government had given up on her father and that she was in the process of collecting one crore rupees to fund a private search for her father. She said that at that point in time, she was ashamed to call herself an Indian and sung praises of how the governments of other nations look after its' citizens.

While these were just two isolated cases, there were the usual killings, bomb blasts and political allegations. The news broadcast was done; I shrugged and then changed the channel. I'm sure most of us would have done that. How is it that people like us get the right to go on national television and proclaim that you are not proud of being an Indian? The awakening does not happen till someone close to home gets hurt. It is never our fight till it involves us.

I am proud of the resilience of our country. I am extremely proud of the zeal and the enthusiasm shown by the youngsters of our country in coming out and supporting the causes of others like it were their own. I am proud of those few policies our political parties pursue which are actually of use to us. I am proud of my local police team who worked tirelessly to locate a missing child a week ago. I am proud of those ads on the TV telling people to go and vote.

I am also proud of the spirit of our people who bounce back each time there is a bombing. People, who pick themselves up and move on with their lives like nothing happened. I'm proud of my country and my people. I am proud to be an Indian.

With so many good things on one side of the scale, how can anyone possibly find the other side weighing more?

Monday, November 3, 2008

Maula Mere

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Maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere - 4
aankhein teri - 2, kitni haseen
ki inkaa aashiq, mein ban gayaa hoon
mujhako basaa le, iname tu
(ishq hai
maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere - 2) - 3

ki inakaa aashiq, mein ban gayaa hoon
mujhako basaa le, iname tu

mujhase yeh har ghadi, meraa dil kahe
tum hi ho usaki aarzoo
mujhase yeh har ghadi, mere lab kahe
teri hi ho sab guftagoo
baatein teri itni haseen, main yaad inko jab kartaa hoon
phoolon si aaye, khushaboo

rakh loon chhupaa ke main kahin tujhako
saayaa bhi teraa naa main doon
rakh loon banaa ke kahin ghar, main tujhe
saath tere, main hi rahoon
julfen teri, itni ghani
dekh ke inako, yeh sochataa hoon
saaye me, inake main jiyoon
(ishq hai
maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere - 2) - 3

(meraa dil yahi bolaa, meraa dil yahi bolaa,
yaara raaj yeh usane hai mujh par kholaa
ki hai ishq mohabbat, jiske dil mein
usko pasand karta hai maulaa) - 3

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Turning Good?


Theres this little widget to the side on my blog that tells me how good or evil my blog is. Turns out, I've fallen from being 47% evil to just 29% evil! I knew it. I'm losing my touch. Must be all my posts that are sappy and/or nice.

Instant Karma!!!

So, we Hindus have this whole belief that a puja (ritual) can cleanse us and wipe our sins away. Yep… even better than Harpic. So, dad had this big puja a few days back. It was interesting to see how it all turned out. This puja was done in a small town called Narasaraopet in Andhra Pradesh. Here it goes (in no particular order):

1. All the muslim guests stayed away.

2. I don’t think any guests of any other religion were invited (!).

3. All the old ladies spent their time gossiping about last night’s soap/kitchen politics.

4. The men discussed politics (the regular ones) and business (recession na… hot topic now)…. and of course, sports.

5. The pujari (priest/facilitator/middle man/soporific) was in his own world… chanting some mumbo-jumbo. God only knows if the stuff he was muttering even made any sense.

6. I was hardly around… the bloody pujari kept asking for things that he thought ought to be there. I was the ferryman extraordinaire (and an unwitting moron too)!

7. My sis, who actually bought the house, was sitting pretty in the US while I did the slogging. Yeah… shes' smart, I‘m not. Big deal… old story… move on!

8. The R.O.M. (rest of the mohalla)… turned up for the free (and tasteless) sit-down lunch. They didn’t care if they knew us… they wanted food. It was like Somalia. It was embarassing for me to ask who they were (Hey! I'm not from there). Shouldn’t they introduce themselves?

I said it was interesting to see how people reacted. It was more like I had no other choice. Bleh… gotta love these rituals right?

Friday, October 3, 2008

Life's Tough!

Just a little something I came across on the internet:

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were attending their first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you should not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body'. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, Stuck his finger in the butt of the dead pig, withdrew it and stuck his Finger in his mouth.

'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead pig And sucking on it. When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle Finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention..

Life's Tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Happiness! Why doth thou be so elusive?


Is happiness a concept rather than a state of mind? If it is a state of mind, I have found it very difficult to achieve it. Happiness is elusive and obscure. I come to realize that the more I try to look for it, the more elusive it is. I keep assuming that a particular thing or a particular event will give me the happiness I crave for. But when I get there, I don't find myself happy. At least, not the way I thought I'd be.

As a child, it had never been a problem for me to stay happy. At every point in time, something or the other would fascinate me -- captivate my imagination and make me happy. At some point in time, the illusion ended and all I'm left with now are bleak reminders of those happy times and lots of unfulfilled dreams and empty promises. The key to happiness is to believe in the possibility that happiness will come around. However, when it becomes too hard to believe in happiness, all you are left with is a futile search for a paradise lost.

In my search for happiness, I have seen people who have achieved happiness and their stories are amazing as well as heartwarming. I see happiness in people who are content with their lives. Desires do not rule their lives like they do mine. My desires may not be material but they are still desires and they make me yearn for more than what I have. Is there a source for eternal happiness? These people claim there is such a source. My quest, possibly futile, continues.

They say, life is a long ride. I'd like to enjoy it while I can.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

9 Days To Go

The trip to Vizag is slowly piecing itself together. We have the accommodation bit taken care of. One of the guys is planning the itinerary for the trip. We'll might need to make some side plans if the itinerary sucks :) I just want to go there and enjoy. This year hasn't been that great and I'm looking at this trip as the silver lining to the otherwise dark cloud.

I know that Raj and Fatty are both excited about the trip too. I'm planning to trip while on this trip :P Something tells me that this trip will be more memorable than any other I've been on. :D

I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance.



Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

When after all this time that you still owe
You're still, a good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
Is where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow

So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

Monday, August 25, 2008

Through The Fire And The Flames!



Dragonforce - Such awesome guitaring and drumming.... they are absolutely awesome!

On a cold winter morning
In the time before the light
In flames of death's eternal reign
We ride towards the fight

When the darkness has fallen down
And the times are tough alright
The sound of evil laughter falls
Around the world tonight

Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel
Through the wastelands evermore
The scattered souls will feel the hell
Bodies wasted on the shores

On the blackest waves in hell's domain
We watch them as they go
Through fire and pain and once again we know!

So now we fly ever free
We're free before the thunderstorm
On towards the wilderness
Our quest carries on

Far beyond the sundown
Far beyond the moonlight
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls!

So far away we wait for the day
For the light source so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

As the red day is dawning
And the lightning cracks the sky
They'll raise their hands to the heavens above
With resentment to their lies

Running back through the midmorning light
There's a burning in my heart
We're banished from the time in a foreign land
To a life beyond the stars

In your darkest dreams see to believe
Our destiny is time
And endlessly we'll all be free tonight!

And on the wings of a dream
So far beyond reality
All alone in desperation
Now the time has gone

Lost inside you'll never find
Lost within my own mind
Day after day this misery must go on!

So far away we wait for the day
For the light source so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

Now here we stand with their blood on our hands
We fought so hard, now can we understand
I'll break the seal of this curse if I possibly can
For freedom of every man!

So far away we wait for the day
For the light source so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Foot in the ass!

The super compilation of the famous 'dumbass' and 'foot in the ass' dialogues by Red Foreman. Hilarious.. esp the one about the book that his foot wrote. :D



Tuesday, August 12, 2008

In-Dependence Day!



6 P.M. I'm sitting in my cab with my windows rolled up and the A.C. turned on at full blast at the insistence of the lady sitting in the rear seat. Shifting uncomfortably in those rigid seats, my gaze fell on this little five or six year old girl running from car to car asking people to buy the miniature national flags.

The irony of it all struck me suddenly. This poor child who should be studying and playing was out in one of Hyderabad's busiest junctions, inhaling harmful gases, and trying to earn some extra money for some ungrateful slobs who find child labor acceptable. The sweetheart stood at my window trying to gaze through the darkened film hoping to land a sale. I ended up buying two flags. I don't feel inclined to help people who beg but I felt incredibly lost this time around.

I couldn't figure out who I felt more sorry for. Was I sorry for this poor child and for problems? Or was I sorry for the plight of this nation which after more than sixty years of independence and having young people as a dominant fraction of its population still had small children begging on the street?

This independence day, will these children sing the national anthem? Will they get to have some sweets and get to have the day to themselves? A more probable possibility is that they will be right there at the same traffic halt begging for money. Whos responsible for all this? I keep listening to people blaming the government for this: "If TDP was still in power, these kids would not have been begging. What has the Congress done for them?" The same arguments are made about the TDP when they're in power. When does it end?

I can't blame anyone but myself. Each one of us need to look in to our hearts to find the love for these people. Do your thing for these kids. Do whatever little you can and do it wholeheartedly. Kindness always finds its way back to you. Till then, penny for your thoughts.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Vizag it is!

A tiny little update: I can take Raj along if he wants to come along. Today is gonna be about convincing him to bunk his office more often :)

Trip to Vizag - Sept 08

My team at work is planning a weekend trip to Vizag in September. I think this is going to be great fun and will give an opportunity to visit what I ideally should call my 'home town.' Well, I am a Hyderabadi and all but my family from my dad's side comes from Vizag.

The plan is to get there on September 19, 2008 and be back on September 21, 2008. During our small holiday, we're planning to visit the various beaches like the R.K. beach and the Bimli beach. A small trip to Aruku is also on the cards. For those who dont know, Aruku Hills are famous for their incredible beauty and rich landscape. There is an Aruku valley too that is equally beautiful but the tours to Aruku Hills is extremely popular.

I also get to take one friend of mine along. No prizes for guessing who thats gonna be. Told Liz about this and she seemed to think that this may not be such a great idea because the monsoons take a longer time to get done with in the coastal areas. But then again, rains are what will make our trip to Vizag even more memorable. I wont need to carry a camera and all this time as Srikanth will be along too. The guys got a camera and a video camera. There'll be no dearth of pictures :) I wish I could have taken Raj (the jackass writing silly anonymous comments) along too. :D

I have some pics of the place too. My internet connection at home does not have the bandwidth to upload all those images. Will upload them tomorrow (or today actualy as it is 12:30 AM).

Monday, August 4, 2008

Stay With Me


Discover Ironik!


Brother and sister
Together will make it through
Some day a spirit will
Take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurtin'
But I've been waitin' to
Be there for you
And I'll be there just helpin'
You out whenever I can
Everybodys Free
Listen this ones for all
The ones showin love,
Its appreciated life's crazy man Listen to the lyrics

CHORUS.
Stay with me don't fall asleep
Too soon the angels can wait
For a moment
(They can wait for a moment)
Stay with me don't fall asleep
Too soon the angels can wait
For a moment.

Listen, listen to the words
VERSE 1.
Don't cry for me when I'm gone
No point of wasted tears our
Time will come one day and I'm
Just confronting my fears
Though its not really a fear
It's more like a destiny some
Times i sit and wondered is this
Life really for me, cause'
Ive seen, seen, heard, felt,
I'm done. I hope you're proud of
Where I've come, you've seen me
Grow and helped me through,
And there is no repayin you,
I'm here and i feel like I'm
Delayin you, betrayin you,
And when I'm gone i hope theres
Somone savin' you.

CHORUS
Stay with (Im gonna stay, listen)
Mee dont fall asleep too soon
(Im gnna try not to) the angels
Can wait for a moment
(They can wait man, i swear)
Stay with me dont fall asleep
Too soon the angels
(Im gonna hold on)
Can wait for a moment.

VERSE 2

I wanna see your face
Every time i come home cause'
I cant leave u like this
In this cold world alone,
But, in this life were livin'
Who knows when ill be gone,
I dont wanna leave you
With what ifs, now im in for
Long (To the world)
Theres to much to prove, and Sometimes i wonder what i
Really have to lose, and then
I really see its not all
About me, i wanna shield you from
This harsh mad reality, its real.

CHORUS.
(Like, lifes risky sometimes,
But really, u gotta take your Chances)
Stay with me dont fall asleep
Too soon the angels can wait
For a moment(Its crazy look)
Stay with me dont fall asleep
Too soon the angels can wait
For a moment.
(Listen to the words)

Verse 2

To the world,
Lifes a game and we need to
Play it correct, do the
Right moves and dont get caught
Up in loadsa mess,
Be calm dont be stressed,
Be sure to pass the test,
Stand ur ground an dont let
Others put you to the test
(Repeat)

CHORUS.
Stay with me dont fall asleep
Too soon the angels can wait
For a moment (x3)

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Tired, Irritated and Bloody Bored.


This is turning out to be a bad bad month. I thought the last month was lousy but then this one comes along and takes the cake. Now, despite whatever little savings I had, I am paying a tiny fortune as tax. I spent my whole weekend running around trying to get my stuff in order and I had no time for relaxation. God I'm whining now.

Fine... talking about something positive..... DAMN! There ain't anything positive about this bloody month. I have some dumb training from tomorrow and that should be a good break for me. Being able to finish work by 5:30 will be a boon. Yeah, this may be a good start to the new month.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Places I've been to...

So, I put this little widget at the bottom of the page that shows all the places I've been to so far. Not many but the list is growing. Check it out!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The Story of the Flood



So, our trainer came up with this rather interesting topic for a group discussion which she felt would help the class figure out the advantages, disadvantages and the necessity for this medium of instruction. So, she told us about these two lovers who lived on opposite sides of a river (!). They would meet on the bridge that would connect the two rivers. Then came this huge flood that swept the bridge away. Then, the lovers had no choice but to use unconventional methods (!!) like placards (from across the flooding river) to communicate (!!!) and express their love. So, one fine day the guy does not turn up to wave his placard and the girl is crushed. This continues for about a week and thats when the girl starts getting panicky and decides that it is time to cross the river. She approaches this fisherman and asks him to take her across (in a flood). The fisherman on his part has a habit of being a lazy layabout who likes passing lewd comments and teasing the girl. He tells her that he can take her across the river only if she comes alone and at night. She eventually agrees and gets across the river without any more excitement in her life (thank god!!). She walks up to her lovers place and pushes the door open. At this point in time, the trainer mentions that the dwelling is a hut that has seen the worst of the flood. Anyway, so she pushes it open and confronts the guy who is on the bed (presumably floating around the room) with his leg in a cast. When he sees her, he apparently questions her and finding his authority and his pride challenged, addresses her in an aggravated tone and asks her to go back. "Now comes the fun part," says the trainer and proceeds to ask us whose fault was it?

My conclusions:

1. None of the three characters can be blamed for the flood.
2. It is not possible to wave placards from across a flooding river as physics dictates that the river swells up in the middle preventing the parties from being able to see eachother.
3. On the same lines as the point above, waving placards from across a river would still be useless, unless the placards were at least a 100 ft in length and presumably wider too (esp if they intend to say anything more than a 'hi')
4. The fisherman can't be blamed as it is possible that he works in the day and has no time to waste on a girl who obviously is not an economically beneficial obligation.
5. How is any of this the 'fun part'?

Am I missing something?

Finally home ...!

We got a new washing machine. A new IFB Elena with a 5 Kg load capacity with the usual jazz. We opted out of a digital display and control because of the huge number of programming glitches reported by semi-moderately informed friends. So, they came and delivered it last night and are (should have by now) going to install it today.

What was sad (and pointless) was the way they hauled the old washing machine out. Apparently (again not self-acquired data), the older one was one of the oldest models that IFB had introduced in India. I suppose its on its way to getting recycled now. Served me well all these years. Will certainly make sure this one works well too.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Status Update!!!

Status Update: So, she called. She is there. Phew!

I hate transits!

So, shes gone. First to Doha and then to NY. Whats bugging me is why she hasn't called so far. I guess she must have reached Doha by now. That could mean one of two things. Either she did not have the time to call as she was in transit, or she did not bother to call. The former is rather improbable because she was to be in transit for over 2 hours which would mean that she would have had all the time in the world. The latter is sadly a distinct possibility as I have shown such wayward trends in the not so recent past. All in all, one simple question: WHERE THE HELL IS SHE????

Friday, June 13, 2008

Simple Plan - When I'm Gone




When Im Gone - Simple Plan

I look around me
But all I seem to see
Its people going nowhere
Expecting sympathy
It’s like we’re going through the emotions
Of the scripted destiny
Tell me where’s our inspiration
If life won’t wait
I guess it’s up to me

Whoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We wont come back, the world its coming out
Whoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

Procrastination running circles in my head
While you sit there contemplating you’ll wind up left for dead (left for dead)
Life it’s what happens
While you’re busy making your excuses
Another day, another casualty
But that won’t happen to me

Whoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We wont come back, the world its coming out
[ When I'm Gone lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Whoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m goooone
When I’m gooone

Let’s go…!
Won’t look back
When I say goodbye
We’re gonna leave this world behind me
Gonna take what’s mine tonight
‘cause every wasted day
Becomes a wasted chance
You’re gonna wake up feeling sorry
‘cause life won’t wait
I guess it’s up to you

Whoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We wont come back, the world its coming out
Whoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

On a record...



Just after helping set a Guinness world record in San Jose. I was part of a massive cake making lesson and thats me posing next to my work of art. :D

Monday, June 9, 2008

Hola IFB

The day came and went. My Noogler (sounds weird when you say it) never came. The HR never bothered to let us know that some of them will be joining next week. Convenient. So, I've been made the temporary point of contact for this buddy program. In short, I take care of their requirements and their needs and also take feedback about them from their buddies. lol...

We just went and picked up a washing machine. Its an IFB front loader. Cheapest you can get model. Got it for 14000. I just dont understand why they need to buy the cheapest model there is. Bwah... I am tired. Need to go get some shuteye... adios world.

Random Tech

So, I also have this small public blog called 'Random Tech' which usually has posts about new technology, game reviews and walkthroughs and quite a bit about online advertising and networking. Visit it and comment if there is something to comment on. Not all posts are mine but are referenced. I suppose it is the knowledge that matters at the end of the day. Also contributing to this are Ritwik and Srikanth (eventually at least.)

See you there.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Next Saturday :(

So, my sister is suddenly having to leave for the US this Saturday. I guess the word 'suddenly' does not quite apply because my dad has been going on about this for ages and she is finally getting to go. Everyone is excited about the trip. She hates being the center of attention. Now, every aunt and uncle wants to give her those vital survival tips. They make going to the US sound like she has to spend the rest of her life in Afghanistan. Poor kid.

Today, I'm going to check out the new Adlabs movie theater in Ameerpet. The guys went and decided to watch Indiana Jones. I still cant imagine why a man could be called Indiana Jones. I think that is too stupid a name for a woman, leave alone a man. Anyways, one of the few things I learned over the past few years is not to question American intelligence. I say we leave them be and go watch a 50 year old wannabe Lara Croft do his thing. Amen t'that.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

NO! The name is ...

Umm... the girl's name is Shweta. My bad. I hope she does not read this... :)

June 05 '08 :)

So, we had a private taxis and vehicles strike today and it is expected to go right through the weekend. Google gave us a holiday for tomorrow. Yeah joy huh? Naah. I have to work from home and I need to be doing a hell of a lot of work. :(

That does not mean that I will do so much work :D I suppose I will go to work on Monday on my bike. I don't want to have to go in the RTC bus all crowded and all. On Monday, we're getting what we call Nooglers. In short, new Googlers. I was one of them at one point in time. In fact, I even wrote about it in on of my older posts. I need to welcoming a girl called Shilpa and she will be sitting next to me. Sort of a like a buddy program.

I was supposed to watch Narnia: Prince Caspian today but everyone ditched me in the end :( But thats ok. I think I'll live :)

I need to write about something else now...

I dont feel like writing about the Singapore trip anymore. It was a fun trip that I found rather tough (lazy ol' me) to sum up in words. I will try and put up pics in the picture blog link though. Hopefully, you'll relive the trip through the pictures. And, that will leave me free to write about something else. :)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

En Route to Singapore...



Finally, after all the drama at the airport, we finally get on to the plane. Bye Bye Hyderabad. I don't think I'll miss you that much. So, we're on to a Singapore Airlines plane. It is supposed to be their new A380s. These planes are rather cramped. And for some sad reason I was being called 'Polisetty' and I always was mistaken for being a vegetarian and I get the middle seat ... ALWAYS!!! Bloddy travel agency always screws up. So, they have this nice miniature TV screen for watching movies and all. After the excitement wore down (it took nearly half an hour,) the nightmare began. They came and served us what they called food.

The only edible thing in all that was the bun and butter. So, I quietly eat up whatever I could and politely ask the air hostess to remove the plate as it was really cramped in there and I couldn't reach for the damned remote to change the channel or at least shut the damn thing off. She gives me big Singaporean smile, white teeth and no eyes and all, and says she'll do that right away and comes back TWO hours later to clear the plate. So you see, service was pathetic. Unfortunate stuff to happen right at the very beginning.

But then, we reached Singapore. :D Here we go, our ride begins here!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

All aboard - Next Stop Singapore!!!


Finally the moment had come. I was finally, I say FINALLY, getting to go abroad. So, I went half-heartedly to work in the morning, pretended to work, did some work too and was all excited about evening. I left Google at about 3 PM for home. My cab mate for this trip was Dhruv. Loads of chatting and crazy heat and a drive of about an hour, I managed to get home. Had some chaat and then went and got ready. Dad and mom turned up to give me a grand send-off. While packing, I noticed that the medicines I was carrying are prescription drugs. Asthalin? Who'd have thought? So, dad and I rush out on our bikes and head to Sharada nursing home and somehow managed to get a prescription for the medicines. Got back quickly but Dhruv wasn't there yet. Left finally at 6:30 PM. My journey's started baby. The airport is so far far away. Shamshabad is like at the other end of the world. It took us forever (read 2 hours) to get there. The airport is nice and all. Far better than anything I had ever seen. Then again, I had hardly seen anything. The next few days were going to change my perspective. Adios Hyderabad! Mucho Gracias!!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Illusion and Reality


People say I have changed. Have I? Or has their perspective changed? I know one thing for sure. Awkwardly at first and confidently thereafter, I have started to appreciate people and have learned to like them for the good they have in them. With joy and happiness, I'd say that the healing has started.

A friend of mine at work says that she doesn't like me as much anymore. Could it be because I am a lot quieter. I hope that these people don't perceive my silence for arrogance. I am just a lot more introspective. Another friend of mine feels that I have become more caring and understanding. She thinks I have changed for the better. This has left me confused. Who has changed here?

Change is inevitable as is the change of perspective. Do I justify myself to anyone? Should I care for an incorrect opinion? Is it my place to influence decisions? If I have inadvertently done so, what is the remedy? Shouldn't I have the answers to all these questions? How do you justify illusions? How do you define reality?

Monday, April 7, 2008

Stop and Stare


This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

--
Stop and see,
Stop and feel;
Stop and love,
Stop and stare.
--

Monday, March 31, 2008

Archangel



I haven't been able to blog of late. I've been experiencing what I'd like to call a creative vacuum. I'm trying to be as random as I can. As a friend of mine says, "All my life I have wanted to be different, but in doing so, I have been so ordinary." Ironic and subtle at the same time. What is it that prompts so many of us to be different? At what point in our existence does it stop being an effort and becomes a way of things done? Questions like these seldom are answered because this is a lifelong struggle to be different. Fight to be different so that you can be one among many and yet be the one above the others. The Archangel - the first among many.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Intelligence and Madness


" A powerful wizard, who wanted to destroy an entire kingdom, placed a magic potion in the well from which all the inhabitants drank. Whoever drank that water would go mad.

The following morning, the whole population drank from the well and they all went mad, apart from the king and his family, who had a well set aside for them alone, and which the magician had not managed to poison. The king was worried and tried to control the population by issuing a series of edicts governing security and public health. The policemen and the inspectors, however, had also drunk the poisoned water and they thought the king's decisions were absurd and resolved to take no notice of them.

When the inhabitants of the kingdom heard these decrees, they became convinced that the king had gone mad and was now giving nonsensical orders. They marched on the castle and called for his abdication.

In despair, the king prepared to step down from his throne, but the queen stopped him, saying: "Let us go and drink from the communal well. Then, we will be the same as them."

And that was what they did: the king and the queen drank the water of madness and immediately began talking nonsense. Their subjects repented at once; now that the king was displaying such wisdom, why not allow him to continue ruling the country.

The country continued to live in peace, although its inhabitants behaved very differently from those of its neighbors. And the king was able to govern until the end of his days. "

-- excerpt from 'Veronika Decides To Die' by Paulo Coelho. --


It is a rather thin line that separates intelligence from insanity and also from vanity. In the king's kingdom, everyone was mad. However, everyone thought the king was mad. Its tough to tell who is correct and who is not if we do not know what is correct. Even if you somehow get to know that something is correct, how do you determine its accuracy? While intelligence is accepted knowledge, insanity most of time is the forerunner of evolution.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Hope


Ironic it is that my next post would be all about hope and survival. I had just written about the end of all hope. An old lady I know suffered a serious accident and she is fighting for her life in the hospital. I've heard of people who put an end to their life because of trivial things like trying to prove a point or simply just giving up because there was nothing else to try. I wish there was someone to tell them there still was hope.

When she was in the hospital, she needed help. When I tried asking for help at work, the response I got was overwhelming. Almost everyone who was eligible to help tried their best. We tend to think that people have become more self-centered and insensitive. But that is not the case. People who care still exist.

You need some more proof that hope exists? Ask the parents whose only son battled for his life after being hit by train. Ask the student who works untiringly from three in the morning till midnight to fight and earn what he wants. Ask the social workers who leave their comfortable lives and go and help the poor and helpless. Ask the old begger who survives just by begging for food. Her life centers around hope.

Hope is eternal. Hope stems from the determination to fight. When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires to help you achieve it. Hope. Just Hope.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

End of All Hope

It is the end of all hope
To lose the child, the faith
To end all the innocence
To be someone like me
This is the birth of all hope
To have what I once had
This life unforgiven
It will end with a birth

No will to wake for this morn
To see another black rose born
Deathbed is slowly covered with snow

Angels, they fell first but I'm still here
Alone as they are drawing near
In heaven my masterpiece will finally be sung

Wounded is the deer that leaps highest
And my wound it cuts so deep
Turn off the light and let me pull the plug

Mandylion without a face
Deathwish without a prayer
End of hope
End of love
End of time
The rest is silence

Monday, March 3, 2008

My Journey


What if I never want to reach the destination? What if the journey is more interesting? I have a predicament. I've always wished I would meet that special someone. And at those points in time, I was with someone special enough for me to assume that I was finally there. I'd then be rudely reintroduced to reality only for me to realize that I was still on my way to getting there. Things were slowly starting to go numb. I experienced such conflicting emotions that I didn't know which road to take at the crossroads. I was left standing right there in the middle watching people cross me everyday. After I spent some time there, I began to feel like I was no longer a part of the main flow of life. It was more peaceful now. The will to continue was slowly slipping away. Is this the sense of oblivion that I was searching for? The irony is that I'll never know until I leave this place for the unknown. Maybe the end is the means itself. Maybe.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Loner


People change. Often. I've often wondered why I'm affected by changes in people. Over time, people have gone from being interesting to being uninteresting to being absolutely boring. They say that change is inevitable. I understand that. Why am I unable to accept it? That brings me to an important question: who has changed?

It is possible that I may have changed and that my preferences might have changed. Old habits now annoy me. I begin to see some people through their pretense and I realize some of them weren't pretending. There are people who are your friends for your help and some for what you might have. Very few people distinguish themselves as real friends. Why is this so? The whole concept of friendship seems lost on these people. Or am I living in a time that is past?

I think the concept of reality needs to change. I think I'll be happy when I weed out those I don't like. Unconventional approach but effective nonetheless.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Flights of Fantasy


Its been nearly 6 long years since I've flown in a plane. Though the same excitement and rush to the head wasn't there, the trip to Chennai brought back some delightful memories. I was around 10 years old when I first flew from Hyderabad to Chennai. I remember eagerly waiting for the trip. I was very excited and overwhelmed by the plane to even have felt any air sickness.

The day finally came. It was then that my eyes feasted on the most beautiful scene ever. The plane slowly glided above the snow white clouds and flew above them. It seemed like a endless field of snow. I thought this might be what heaven must look like. I must have been so much simpler then. It was breathtaking. The air looked so pure and clean. When the flight cruised above the clouds, I started to relive my childhood, one memory at time. People tend to think they've grown out of their childhood and give up their old toys and fantasies. Life is nothing but a ride through the clouds - my flight of fantasy where the past meets the present - and I am complete... once again.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Alone


As time progresses, we make new acquaintances and forget the old. Why is this the way of life? What makes the heart cling to some memories - memories, bitter and sweet. Imagine running as fast as you can to keep up with the present. As I sail forward, memories and dreams steady the raft that is my life. As I rely even more on my memories, I realize with dismay that I have forgotten how to steer. Now, as the raft sails into the unknown, I sense an overwhelming need to learn to face the unknown eventuality. Surprisingly, my memories guide me through this unbounded and vast expanse, and I feel drawn to a light. Alarmingly, I arrive just where I started. Why am I unable to break free?

"Waiting is painful.
Forgetting is painful.
But not knowing which to do ...
... is the most painful of them all."

Thursday, February 14, 2008

video



From underneath the trees
We'd watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed you'd be mine
But here we are
We're here tonight

Singin' amen, I, I'm alive (I'm alive)
Singin' amen, I, I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing
Amen, I
Amen, I, I'm alive
Amen, I, Amen, I,
Amen, I, I'm alive

And in the end the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
Show the world they were wrong
Teach them all to sing along

Singin' amen, I, I'm alive (I'm alive)
Singin' amen, I, I'm alive

[If Everyone Cared lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

When nobody died

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

We'd see the day when nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Hyderabadi Lingo

Today's cab journey was very interesting. I had known J from before. I had just gotten to know M. I didn't know much about R though. We sat and talked out way through the huge traffic jam. We were trying to recollect all the Hyderabadi terms we knew. So, have you heard of 'Baingan'? As far as I know it, it is the hindi equivalent of 'Brinjal.' So, when we decide to contest what the other person claims, we say 'baingan.' lol... And then we have words like 'ghanta,' 'chindi chor,' and even 'butta.' What's butta you ask??? Well, butta is a... well, a corn. Yeah but you could use the word butta as an equivalent of the word 'rubbish.'

I love this language. Kya to bhi hai! I mean, from Ilias bhai to Salim Pheku, everyone speak in Hyderabadi. Hou phir, chindi choro ka adda hai mamu. Kya bolte tum? Butta!

Rain


Its been raining real hard in Hyderabad these past two days. As I traveled in the cab, some pleasant memories fought their way to the surface. I just love the way the air smells just after it has rained. I remember running down to our garden after the rains. We'd have this huge puddle in the compound. I'd tear sheets out of my notes and make paper boats. I'd sit there staring at the way they bobbed around in the water as though I was predicting and controlling their motion. I remember sitting at the window and staring out, watching the rain pour. I was fascinated by the amount of rain falling. It used to be really cold and so I used love that snug feeling of staying home. I came back home and noticed that it had started to drizzle again. After many years, I rediscovered the joy of playing in the rain. We sure never needed reasons to be happy back then. I miss those days.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

I can live forever here!

It's a crime you let it happen to me
Nevermind, I'll let it happen to you
Out of mind, forget it there's nothing to lose
But my mind and all the things I wanted

Everytime I get it I throw it away
It's a sign, I get it, I wanna stay
By the time I lose it I'm not afraid
I'm alive but I can Surely fake it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're the part of me that I don't wanna see

There's a place I see you follow me
Just a taste of all that might come to be
I'm alone but holding breath you can breathe
To question every answer counted

Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way
I can live forever here

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're a part of me that I don't wanna see

I can live forever here!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Mouse Tales



Well, now with the email training done with, I think I still have something interesting to talk about this awesome time we had. There was this occasion when a tiny mouse came in to our training room. I've placed the picture too. Real cute little thing it was. I say "it was" because I'm guessing it is no more. It was really quiet and didn't seem to even have a little energy to move. It was caught and taken out. Sad huh?

If it was any consolation for such a sad thing, our trainer jumped and ran out. Funny funny sight it was. He ran to get someone to get the mouse out. Thats what he says. I believe him. Lol.

I hate our office lifts

So, in our office the elevators are like local trains. They creak and shake; they are over-crowded and stop at every damn level. So much for posh lifts huh? And then there are a crazy number of false alarms. The lift lobby is constantly ringing with bells from the six lifts (only 1-2 work actually) but none of them open. Ridiculous I say.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Him, Her and Them!

Why did it happen? It happened so fast. What was his part in it? And why are some questions so tough to answer. It was seemingly perfect. Fairy-tale like even. But, it ended. There was no big bad wolf in this story. Just two people in love. Did love push them apart? Can love even do that? Why did he let it happen? Relationships come and go; only people remain. This cruel irony called love wrought havoc untold and unseen on two true believers. This was not meant to happen.

He misses her a lot. His heart could not fathom the depth of love he had for her. She would miss him a lot too. It seemed so pointless to subject each other to such cruel fates. Love brought them together and eventually wedged them apart. He yearned for her. His feelings and emotions lay hidden beneath the layers of his personality. He smiled even if it was not required. His heart had taken a severe beating. He emerged a changed man. His trust in love was not lost. He knew just what he needed to do make his love last forever. Ironic it was that sacrificing his love for her was the only way he would learn. Somehow, secretly, he thought she knew that too.

"Come feed the rain,
Cause I'm thirsty for your love;
Dancing underneath the skies of lust.

Yeah, feed the rain,
Cause without your love, my life
Aint nothing but this carnival of rust."

Friday, February 1, 2008

Untitled

Every day with every breath I draw, I am closer to the end of my life. For we are born with a finite number of breaths, and each one I take edges the sunlight that is my life toward the inevitable dusk.
- Untitled -

Hellgate London ROCKS

Hellgate London rocks!!!

No other way of putting it across. Its one of the better games out in the market today. I haven't had a chance of playing it online but I'm guessing it will be a whole lot different and better than the warcraft experience. The game (that I have played so far) starts off with me being a novice templar with rags for protection and appropriate (for the level) weapons. We end up running through a bunch of levels with the AI of the minions improving by the level. In one of the levels, I died 10 times fighting a level 5 monster. Resurrection and subsequent rage and revenge is the way the game is played.

Check the intro video out...

Thursday, January 24, 2008

How small things make such a huge difference.

I had a friend of mine from the place I used to work earlier, over at Google for an interview. Though this guy has worked in loads of places, he says he has never seen anything like Google. What really caught my attention was the things he found so great about Google. He loved the idea of free food... imagine free food majorly influencing employee loyalty and attracting prospective employees... yeah, thats a winner.

He found those massage chairs very attractive. I mean, no one uses them really. Personally, I feel they wreck my lower back each time I sit on them. But then, what a way of making a statement that Google cares about its employees. Apparently, this guy forgot his resume because he was coming directly from his current office after a grueling night shift. I know (from personal exp) that this can happen. The HR person was kind enough to print it out for him. She made sure he was comfortable and tried her best to reduce his anxiety. He was so influenced by all this.

Small gestures really, but they make a massive difference. As he went out, he spoke these words that actually made me write this blog entry: "I don't know if I will get through the interview, but I am certain that this day spent at Google was the best ever and I will tell everyone that this is the kind of a place to work."

Mission Accomplished. Signing off!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Why is it called chicken 65???

Whats with vegans and their habit of trying to convert people to vegetarianism? I had these two sweet girls trying their best to describe how chickens are cut and killed. My guess is that they were hoping this would put me off. Well, nice try though. I'm not trying to be boorish and all. I appreciate what these people are doing. People who argue that man started off as a non-vegetarian are obviously getting off on a wrong foot. While man did start off as a non-vegetarian, I would like to think vegetarianism as the next step in behavioral evolution.

But then, not having non-vegetarians in the food chain would be disastrous. Diseases like the bird flu would be rampant. Green pastures and forests would become barren and would end up as deserts. Who knows? I don't think I ever want to become a complete vegan or a vegetarian. I am very happy with my status as an omnivore and as Akx likes to call me, an animal.

In fact, I came across this rather funny tidbit today. Apparently, the Indian fast food dish, chicken 65 was named so because chickens that are 65 days old are used for making this dish (lol, rotfl and the like.) Yeah right. Since when have chickens started coming with birth certificates and all. From what I could find out, it is called so for four (reasonable) reasons.

1. The original recipe requires that the spices soak (or marinate as is the case) for 65 days.

2. Reason #2 dates back to the war in 1965 where the army men needed something quick and easy to eat and eventually settled on dry and spice boneless chicken.

3. The third one is about a chef and some hotel in the north who used 65 dried chillies to make this dish a sizzler.

4. The last one is about the item #65 on the menu at a 'military hotel'. Back in the 50s, hotels that served non-veg in south India were scarce. Such hotels were called 'military hotels.' Since people did not know what to call this dish, they called it chicken 65.

Believable??? Your guess is as good as mine.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Sudden Change!!!

Its been a funny funny day. I think I did everything differently today, all in the vain hope that it might make a difference to my karma. I was hoping this would tip my balance all the way in to the 'good' region. I use the word 'vain' because, if it was supposed to do something, it definitely hasn't.

Well, first things first, I was up way before schedule. Had to see my mom and my sis off. With them went our maid who comes from that place they went to. At work, I was generally trying to be nice. Theres this sarcastic little girl who is in my emails batch and I was nice to her too. I totally ignored everyones stupidity in the name of greater peace. Life is so much simpler this way. Lunch was completely veggie today ( hah! I can eat veg too .) Kinda felt nice eating veggie stuff. Got home to the realization that without the maid, the cooking would be left to my grandma. So, we both got down to the task. She wouldn't let me cook for some very obvious reasons. This was a lot of fun. We were bonding after a real long time. Felt good. Then I did the dishes (!!!). made sure everythings ok and taken care off and here I am, typing this massive post.

For someone, whos life is so much simpler on a daily basis, this was a massive change and a welcome one at that. Now, i'll get some shut-eye as I have to wake up rather early to get the milk ( hah hah ).

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Google certified AdWords Professional



I recently wrote the GAP (Google AdWords Professional) exam and managed to get through. That makes me a GAP (lol). No idea as to how this will help me though. I believe we get access to something called 'My Client Center' which helps manage multiple accounts. That would mean that I have a new interface where I can see all the accounts I have authorization to manage. Neat.