Thursday, November 20, 2008
Still Missing You!
Been six months since the big breakup -- the big kapish! All these days later, I sat down to see if this has changed me in any way. And apparently it has. It was so much easier back then. I didn't care for anyone else and I didn't care if others cared either. Its no fun to be alone so suddenly. It sucks to feel so incomplete. The world around me has changed. I know there are some people who definitely hate me for some reason. Thats the sad part - I don't even know the reason. This seems so much the like the old days at college.
Considering how vulnerable I feel, I find it even more difficult to start over with all these people behaving in such a manner. I think I should take off for some time and work on other things. Obviously, work is not as fulfilling and time-consuming as I hoped it would be. It is tough to understand what I'm going through because - as cliched as it may sound - I don't have words to describe the loneliness. I have become unusually rude to people to keep them away from me. I know of many people I could have really hurt if I let my sarcasm out. Thank god I've not fallen that far.
I am writing all this so that I know what I felt like even after I have healed. I understand that the first step in healing is to forget the past. I've done a lot of things I regret. Its time to move on. And thats what I am going to do. I have made many new friends who I like. I don't care overly much for the ones who know hate me. At the end of the day, my problems and these people are probably nothing compared to what some others are going through. I call a time-out.
Love & Peace