Loner

People change. Often. I've often wondered why I'm affected by changes in people. Over time, people have gone from being interesting to being uninteresting to being absolutely boring. They say that change is inevitable. I understand that. Why am I unable to accept it? That brings me to an important question: who has changed?

It is possible that I may have changed and that my preferences might have changed. Old habits now annoy me. I begin to see some people through their pretense and I realize some of them weren't pretending. There are people who are your friends for your help and some for what you might have. Very few people distinguish themselves as real friends. Why is this so? The whole concept of friendship seems lost on these people. Or am I living in a time that is past?

I think the concept of reality needs to change. I think I'll be happy when I weed out those I don't like. Unconventional approach but effective nonetheless.

Flights of Fantasy

Its been nearly 6 long years since I've flown in a plane. Though the same excitement and rush to the head wasn't there, the trip to Chennai brought back some delightful memories. I was around 10 years old when I first flew from Hyderabad to Chennai. I remember eagerly waiting for the trip. I was very excited and overwhelmed by the plane to even have felt any air sickness.

The day finally came. It was then that my eyes feasted on the most beautiful scene ever. The plane slowly glided above the snow white clouds and flew above them. It seemed like a endless field of snow. I thought this might be what heaven must look like. I must have been so much simpler then. It was breathtaking. The air looked so pure and clean. When the flight cruised above the clouds, I started to relive my childhood, one memory at time. People tend to think they've grown out of their childhood and give up their old toys and fantasies. Life is nothing but a ride through the clouds - my flight of fantasy where the past meets the present - and I am complete... once again.

Alone

As time progresses, we make new acquaintances and forget the old. Why is this the way of life? What makes the heart cling to some memories - memories, bitter and sweet. Imagine running as fast as you can to keep up with the present. As I sail forward, memories and dreams steady the raft that is my life. As I rely even more on my memories, I realize with dismay that I have forgotten how to steer. Now, as the raft sails into the unknown, I sense an overwhelming need to learn to face the unknown eventuality. Surprisingly, my memories guide me through this unbounded and vast expanse, and I feel drawn to a light. Alarmingly, I arrive just where I started. Why am I unable to break free?

"Waiting is painful.
Forgetting is painful.
But not knowing which to do ...
... is the most painful of them all."

From underneath the trees
We'd watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed you'd be mine
But here we are
We're here tonight

Singin' amen, I, I'm alive (I'm alive)
Singin' amen, I, I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing
Amen, I
Amen, I, I'm alive
Amen, I, Amen, I,
Amen, I, I'm alive

And in the end the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
Show the world they were wrong
Teach them all to sing along

Singin' amen, I, I'm alive (I'm alive)
Singin' amen, I, I'm alive

[If Everyone Cared lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

When nobody died

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

We'd see the day when nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

Hyderabadi Lingo

Today's cab journey was very interesting. I had known J from before. I had just gotten to know M. I didn't know much about R though. We sat and talked out way through the huge traffic jam. We were trying to recollect all the Hyderabadi terms we knew. So, have you heard of 'Baingan'? As far as I know it, it is the hindi equivalent of 'Brinjal.' So, when we decide to contest what the other person claims, we say 'baingan.' lol... And then we have words like 'ghanta,' 'chindi chor,' and even 'butta.' What's butta you ask??? Well, butta is a... well, a corn. Yeah but you could use the word butta as an equivalent of the word 'rubbish.'

I love this language. Kya to bhi hai! I mean, from Ilias bhai to Salim Pheku, everyone speak in Hyderabadi. Hou phir, chindi choro ka adda hai mamu. Kya bolte tum? Butta!

Rain

Its been raining real hard in Hyderabad these past two days. As I traveled in the cab, some pleasant memories fought their way to the surface. I just love the way the air smells just after it has rained. I remember running down to our garden after the rains. We'd have this huge puddle in the compound. I'd tear sheets out of my notes and make paper boats. I'd sit there staring at the way they bobbed around in the water as though I was predicting and controlling their motion. I remember sitting at the window and staring out, watching the rain pour. I was fascinated by the amount of rain falling. It used to be really cold and so I used love that snug feeling of staying home. I came back home and noticed that it had started to drizzle again. After many years, I rediscovered the joy of playing in the rain. We sure never needed reasons to be happy back then. I miss those days.

I can live forever here!

It's a crime you let it happen to me
Nevermind, I'll let it happen to you
Out of mind, forget it there's nothing to lose
But my mind and all the things I wanted

Everytime I get it I throw it away
It's a sign, I get it, I wanna stay
By the time I lose it I'm not afraid
I'm alive but I can Surely fake it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're the part of me that I don't wanna see

There's a place I see you follow me
Just a taste of all that might come to be
I'm alone but holding breath you can breathe
To question every answer counted

Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way
I can live forever here

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're a part of me that I don't wanna see

I can live forever here!

Mouse Tales

Well, now with the email training done with, I think I still have something interesting to talk about this awesome time we had. There was this occasion when a tiny mouse came in to our training room. I've placed the picture too. Real cute little thing it was. I say "it was" because I'm guessing it is no more. It was really quiet and didn't seem to even have a little energy to move. It was caught and taken out. Sad huh?

If it was any consolation for such a sad thing, our trainer jumped and ran out. Funny funny sight it was. He ran to get someone to get the mouse out. Thats what he says. I believe him. Lol.

I hate our office lifts

So, in our office the elevators are like local trains. They creak and shake; they are over-crowded and stop at every damn level. So much for posh lifts huh? And then there are a crazy number of false alarms. The lift lobby is constantly ringing with bells from the six lifts (only 1-2 work actually) but none of them open. Ridiculous I say.

Him, Her and Them!

Why did it happen? It happened so fast. What was his part in it? And why are some questions so tough to answer. It was seemingly perfect. Fairy-tale like even. But, it ended. There was no big bad wolf in this story. Just two people in love. Did love push them apart? Can love even do that? Why did he let it happen? Relationships come and go; only people remain. This cruel irony called love wrought havoc untold and unseen on two true believers. This was not meant to happen.

He misses her a lot. His heart could not fathom the depth of love he had for her. She would miss him a lot too. It seemed so pointless to subject each other to such cruel fates. Love brought them together and eventually wedged them apart. He yearned for her. His feelings and emotions lay hidden beneath the layers of his personality. He smiled even if it was not required. His heart had taken a severe beating. He emerged a changed man. His trust in love was not lost. He knew just what he needed to do make his love last forever. Ironic it was that sacrificing his love for her was the only way he would learn. Somehow, secretly, he thought she knew that too.

"Come feed the rain,
Cause I'm thirsty for your love;
Dancing underneath the skies of lust.

Yeah, feed the rain,
Cause without your love, my life
Aint nothing but this carnival of rust."

Untitled

Every day with every breath I draw, I am closer to the end of my life. For we are born with a finite number of breaths, and each one I take edges the sunlight that is my life toward the inevitable dusk.
- Untitled -

Hellgate London ROCKS

Hellgate London rocks!!!

No other way of putting it across. Its one of the better games out in the market today. I haven't had a chance of playing it online but I'm guessing it will be a whole lot different and better than the warcraft experience. The game (that I have played so far) starts off with me being a novice templar with rags for protection and appropriate (for the level) weapons. We end up running through a bunch of levels with the AI of the minions improving by the level. In one of the levels, I died 10 times fighting a level 5 monster. Resurrection and subsequent rage and revenge is the way the game is played.

Check the intro video out...