Happiness! Why doth thou be so elusive?

Is happiness a concept rather than a state of mind? If it is a state of mind, I have found it very difficult to achieve it. Happiness is elusive and obscure. I come to realize that the more I try to look for it, the more elusive it is. I keep assuming that a particular thing or a particular event will give me the happiness I crave for. But when I get there, I don't find myself happy. At least, not the way I thought I'd be.

As a child, it had never been a problem for me to stay happy. At every point in time, something or the other would fascinate me -- captivate my imagination and make me happy. At some point in time, the illusion ended and all I'm left with now are bleak reminders of those happy times and lots of unfulfilled dreams and empty promises. The key to happiness is to believe in the possibility that happiness will come around. However, when it becomes too hard to believe in happiness, all you are left with is a futile search for a paradise lost.

In my search for happiness, I have seen people who have achieved happiness and their stories are amazing as well as heartwarming. I see happiness in people who are content with their lives. Desires do not rule their lives like they do mine. My desires may not be material but they are still desires and they make me yearn for more than what I have. Is there a source for eternal happiness? These people claim there is such a source. My quest, possibly futile, continues.

They say, life is a long ride. I'd like to enjoy it while I can.

9 Days To Go

The trip to Vizag is slowly piecing itself together. We have the accommodation bit taken care of. One of the guys is planning the itinerary for the trip. We'll might need to make some side plans if the itinerary sucks :) I just want to go there and enjoy. This year hasn't been that great and I'm looking at this trip as the silver lining to the otherwise dark cloud.

I know that Raj and Fatty are both excited about the trip too. I'm planning to trip while on this trip :P Something tells me that this trip will be more memorable than any other I've been on. :D

I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance.

Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

When after all this time that you still owe
You're still, a good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
Is where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow

So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

Through The Fire And The Flames!

Dragonforce - Such awesome guitaring and drumming.... they are absolutely awesome!

On a cold winter morning
In the time before the light
In flames of death's eternal reign
We ride towards the fight

When the darkness has fallen down
And the times are tough alright
The sound of evil laughter falls
Around the world tonight

Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel
Through the wastelands evermore
The scattered souls will feel the hell
Bodies wasted on the shores

On the blackest waves in hell's domain
We watch them as they go
Through fire and pain and once again we know!

So now we fly ever free
We're free before the thunderstorm
On towards the wilderness
Our quest carries on

Far beyond the sundown
Far beyond the moonlight
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls!

So far away we wait for the day
For the light source so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

As the red day is dawning
And the lightning cracks the sky
They'll raise their hands to the heavens above
With resentment to their lies

Running back through the midmorning light
There's a burning in my heart
We're banished from the time in a foreign land
To a life beyond the stars

In your darkest dreams see to believe
Our destiny is time
And endlessly we'll all be free tonight!

And on the wings of a dream
So far beyond reality
All alone in desperation
Now the time has gone

Lost inside you'll never find
Lost within my own mind
Day after day this misery must go on!

So far away we wait for the day
For the light source so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

Now here we stand with their blood on our hands
We fought so hard, now can we understand
I'll break the seal of this curse if I possibly can
For freedom of every man!

So far away we wait for the day
For the light source so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

Foot in the ass!

The super compilation of the famous 'dumbass' and 'foot in the ass' dialogues by Red Foreman. Hilarious.. esp the one about the book that his foot wrote. :D

In-Dependence Day!

6 P.M. I'm sitting in my cab with my windows rolled up and the A.C. turned on at full blast at the insistence of the lady sitting in the rear seat. Shifting uncomfortably in those rigid seats, my gaze fell on this little five or six year old girl running from car to car asking people to buy the miniature national flags.

The irony of it all struck me suddenly. This poor child who should be studying and playing was out in one of Hyderabad's busiest junctions, inhaling harmful gases, and trying to earn some extra money for some ungrateful slobs who find child labor acceptable. The sweetheart stood at my window trying to gaze through the darkened film hoping to land a sale. I ended up buying two flags. I don't feel inclined to help people who beg but I felt incredibly lost this time around.

I couldn't figure out who I felt more sorry for. Was I sorry for this poor child and for problems? Or was I sorry for the plight of this nation which after more than sixty years of independence and having young people as a dominant fraction of its population still had small children begging on the street?

This independence day, will these children sing the national anthem? Will they get to have some sweets and get to have the day to themselves? A more probable possibility is that they will be right there at the same traffic halt begging for money. Whos responsible for all this? I keep listening to people blaming the government for this: "If TDP was still in power, these kids would not have been begging. What has the Congress done for them?" The same arguments are made about the TDP when they're in power. When does it end?

I can't blame anyone but myself. Each one of us need to look in to our hearts to find the love for these people. Do your thing for these kids. Do whatever little you can and do it wholeheartedly. Kindness always finds its way back to you. Till then, penny for your thoughts.

Vizag it is!

A tiny little update: I can take Raj along if he wants to come along. Today is gonna be about convincing him to bunk his office more often :)