CONTAINED INSANITY

Longest Night

2011-10-31T21:13:00.000+05:30

I just had to put this one in...

Is it dark, where you are?

Can you count the stars where you are?

Do you feel like you are a thousand miles from home?

Are you lost, where you are?

Can you find your way when you're so far?

Do you fear, where you are?

A thousand nights alone.

So here we are set into motion

We'll steal a car and crash in the ocean

You and I, caught in a fading light

On the longest night

It's enough, just to find love

It's the only thing to be sure of

So hard, to let go of

A thousand times or more

I was close to a fault line

Heaven knows, you showed up in time

Was it real?

Now I feel, like I'm never coming down

So here we are, set into motion

Steal a car, crash in the ocean

You and I, caught in a fading light

On the longest night

I recall when we were together

Even now it seems like forever

So alive caught in a fading light

On the longest night

Can we go too far to find, what is waiting here?

A little fall from grace

On the longest night

Did we go too far to find, what is waiting here?

We'll take a little time, to open again

Is it dark where you are?

Can you count the stars where you are?

- Howie Day

The Maximum City

2011-08-10T01:40:00.003+05:30

Mumbai - the city of dreams, the city that never sleeps, and the city that waits for no one. My first week here has been a blur. It has been a ceaseless race to get around. The world doesn't stop for anyone. But somewhere in this thriving metropolis are people who make this city what it is.. people who make it real.

I often hear that it is easy to lose ones self in a city so big. I came to realize that in this big city, it is possible to get to know ones self too. Finding yourself while experiencing the lives of others can be a therapeutic experience for the soul. Random acts of kindness leave you unsettled. And then you, quite suddenly, see this beautiful city for what it is.

As Javed Akhtar put it,

Pighlay neelam sa behta hua yeh samaan
Neeli neeli si khamoshiyaan
Na kahin hai zameen
Na kahin aasmaan
Sarsaraati huyi tehniyaan, pattiyaan
Keh rahi hain ki bas ek tum ho yahaan
Sirf main hoon meri saansein hain aur meri dhadkanein
Aisi gehraiyaan
Aisi tanhaiyaan
Aur main sirf main
Apne honay pe mujhko yaqeen aa gaya.

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

2011-02-25T00:00:00.003+05:30

They say that flowers grow out of the darkest moments. In our darkest, most hellish moment, we face all our fears, our inadequacies, our demons. Why do we let ourselves fall so far? Why do we allow ourselves to feel the crushing pressure of all of them at the same time? We were not made for that kind of emotional torture.

Then again, the relief comes at a time when it is most unexpected. Upon exploring the darkest crevices of our distorted psyche do we find a way out in to the open. That moment of liberation is glorious, majestic and a sight to behold. The pieces of our life's puzzle begin to piece themselves together.

Curiously enough, the pieces now connect in ways that were not possible before. Gaze with wonder at the beauty and mystery your recovery has wrought. Its a time for appreciation. I wait for the end of the tunnel too. Just how long its going to take to come is what will show me how dark this night is going to get. All I know is that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Welcome To Wherever You Are

2010-11-15T15:35:00.005+05:30

Ever felt like giving up and moving on? Ever felt heartbroken after a fight with someone you love. Ever wondered why it feels so hard to breathe while you feel like your world is crashing down on you? I'm willing to bet that each and every one of us have felt this way some time or the other.

I wish I could say that its easy to overcome. It is all in the mind. Trust me on this. Its just a matter of time before you figure it out for yourself. We're all the same. We differ only in the extent to which we inflict ourselves with the heartache. At those times of distress, we don't realize that we're special in our own way. We are perfect and can't be any other way. It boils down to that eternal conflict within ourselves where we are caught between who we want to be and who we really are.

It takes a certain amount of introspection to realize that sadness is very temporary. Nothing and no one is worth that kind of unhappiness. Its time to accept that and move on cause right here, and right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be. You are a flower waiting to bloom, a miracle happening right now, and the next big thing yet to happen. Close your eyes and visualize every aspect of your life - your family, your friends, your job.. everything. Try to evaluate your problems and check for yourself which problems are actually yours and not yours by association.

We control our lives. No one else does. Nothing anyone else says can make a difference. At the end of it all, its your life. If you look back on your life, I hope that you don't only see the people who made all the decisions for you. If you don't like something, don't do it. Do what you like and do it with all your heart. Be who you want to be, be who you really are, you are the real deal, the superstar!

When you want to give up and are ready to fall apart, remember that you're perfect and god makes no mistakes!

- Jon Bon Jovi.

Rain It Pours

2010-10-19T01:02:00.004+05:30

Rain it pours, and its dancing in my soul now;
Rain it pours, and it drowns away my thoughts;
Rain it pours, and everything goes silent;
Rain it pours, and its dancing in my soul.

Ganesh Chaturthi (in my world)

2010-09-13T00:27:00.005+05:30

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi everyone! The Ganesh puja in Hyderabad has always been special for me. Thats the one festival everyone makes sure to be home for. This year was no different. It was filled with fun with the family, great food, and of course, the festivities. What made it all the more special were the small things that happened in between all of this.

We convinced everyone that this year we would go eco-friendly. We bought a Ganesha made of clay. That was special. We bought a Ganesha that would not pollute the lake. We even managed to convince the other families to do the same. Its bad enough that the big muthis are destroying the lakes; we're doing the ecosystem a favor by cleaning it up one idol at a time. Scary thought but if the water of our lake ever dried up, we'd see a graveyard of idols! I'm willing to bet anything that if Ganesha could speak up, he would not be too happy with what we do to his idols each year. Save the city people.. save tank bund, lest it become 'tank bandh.'

I went shopping with my grandmother. She has shopping all figured out. Its fun to watch someone who knows where to shop and how much to bargain for. Its a talent. So, while we shopped, this lady came up with her baby and started to beg for money. The kid was old enough to be left alone while she works but she chose to beg instead. As expected, she got a lecture from my grandmother. No one gets away from those. After sending that woman away, she made me buy two bananas for them and made me peel them before giving it to them. That was to ensure that the woman fed the child. Small thing I know but I think my grandmom is awesome in ways like that.

Amidst all the pandals, the band-baaja, and the festivities, these small things stood out to make the whole festival so memorable. These make the festival worth celebrating!

Nexus One!

2010-06-15T13:51:00.002+05:30

Everyone at Google got a Nexus One and I've been wanting to write about it... I just didn't know how to put all of that in words. It feels amazing! And just to make it all the more special, heres the barcode link to my URL! :)

Thank you Google! :)

Outplaying the Genie!

2010-06-09T22:54:00.002+05:30

This is always something we used to wonder... why make just three wishes and why not ask for another three wishes as the last wish.. well, theres always a way out! :)

Soul Curry At The KFC!

2010-05-30T23:45:00.005+05:30

Was out with Raj to watch the Prince of Persia movie at Cinemax in Hyderabad. After having a good time at the movie, we walked in to the KFC in the same building. I placed the order and waited for my food. When the food came, I asked the guy behind the counter for an extra plate. He just stared back. I looked at him for a few seconds before trying it again, this time showing him what I wanted by gesturing. To my surprise, the supervisor then tapped his shoulder and use the hand signals to convey my request. The guy behind the counter was mute. I had not expected to see someone who was deaf-mute working in one of the busiest KFCs in town. I was amazed.

My amazement grew when I noticed that there were a few more employees at the same outlet who could not speak or hear. The supervisor took pride in telling me about how he managed a very efficient crew that had overcome their challenges to become a star crew. Well, I don't know about the calories and the cholesterol in those KFC delicacies, but I can tell you one thing... this one was pretty good for the heart! :)

The Purpose Of My Life!

2009-11-09T14:25:00.006+05:30

Do we all come in to this world with a purpose? If so, why do some of us feel so lost all the time. We go about spending our days like little specks of intense emotion without a boundary and without reason. It took me sometime to find my purpose in life. It was there in front of me all along and some people did point it out too. I was just too occupied by what I thought life was all about to notice. Here's a small story I read in a 'Chicken Soup' book that pretty much sums me up.

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"Dr. Papaderos, what is the meaning of life?"

The usual laughter followed, and people stirred to go. Papaderos held up his hand and stilled the room and looked at me for a long time, asking with his eyes if I was serious and seeing from my eyes that I was.

"I will answer your question."

Taking his wallet out of his hip pocket, he fished in to a leather billfold and brought out a very small round mirror, about the size of a quarter.

And what he said went like this:

"When I was a small child, during the war, we were very poor and we lived in a remote village. One day, on the road, I found the broken pieces of a mirror. A German motorcycle had been wrecked in that place.

"I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible, so I kept only the largest piece. This one, and, by scratching it on a stone, I made it round. I began to play with it as a toy and became fascinated by the fact that I could reflect light into dark places where the sun would never shine - in deep holes and crevices and dark closets. It became a game for me to get light into the most inaccessible places I could find.

"I kept the little mirror, and, as I went about my growing up, I would take it out in idle moments and continue the challenge of the game. As I became a man, I grew to understand this was not just a child's name but a metaphor for what I might do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of the light. But light - truth, understanding, knowledge - is there, and it will shine in many dark places only if I reflect it.

"I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have, I can reflect light into the dark places of this world. - into the blackest places in the hearts of men - and change some things in some people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the meaning of my life. "

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Being happy is so easy. It just boils down to whether we can open up our hearts and experience the joy the world has to offer. Its very easy to dwell in the dark corners of our psyche and languish there waiting for the eventuality. At a small level, my happiness brings a smile to others around me. My purpose in life is not to be a great discoverer or to be a great adventurer or a great teacher. My purpose in life is simple: To rediscover happiness and help others re-discover them. Its time for a positive change. After all, the world could always use a little more light.

Somethings Never Mix!

2009-11-02T09:03:00.001+05:30

Sasi at his hilarious best!!! :D

Dilemma Central

2009-10-28T17:50:00.004+05:30

Often, I get dragged in to matters that don't concern me. And this happens only because I care for people without practical bounds of reason. While this hasn't gotten me in to trouble, its left my mind in a bit of a turmoil. I know both sides of the struggle. I know two kinds of pain. I know desperation and I know delusion. Even when I know of that thin strand that connects these two, my mind is still in turmoil. And I don't see any way out of this.

It is so much easier to handle things when the pain is yours. When dealing with others, personal boundaries start to blur. Emotion clouds intellect. Practical reasoning is now a road left unused. How does one, who is none of the two, manage three perspectives, and manage to fix things? All I know is that I am the man for the job because I know I wont give up.

A wise little girl once told me, "If you can bring a single ray of sunshine in to the lives of someone in the dark, that light is enough to light up the nine worlds above and below." God bless her and her spirit because it is teaching me something new everyday.

Like Edna St. Vincent Millay said,

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But, ah, my foes, and, oh, my friends--
It gives a lovely light!

Far Away

2009-10-18T23:25:00.005+05:30

You never really know what you have until you lose it. All those afternoons when I felt too lazy to get out and meet you, those days I stood you up and yet you came back the next day for me, the lazy and carefree way you would play with my hair, all the tantrums I threw and the love you gave me in return... I'd give anything to experience it for just a minute. Distance wedged a small gap between us but I know I will fill it up... and I know you will always be there to take care of me. Love & Peace.

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

One my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Aj n Me!

2009-10-11T21:20:00.005+05:30

Hey all. Since I'm the new captain of this boat, let me introduce myself. I'm Liz. And for the forseeable future, this blog is going to be mine. :) Thought I'd start out with something that most people who know Aj would know... our story! :)

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CAT Exam

The day I had been waiting for. I had taken coaching classes and had worked really hard to know that I was going to ace this exam. I was so well prepared that nothing could go wrong. What finally happened there was something that even years of practice couldn't have helped. When I got to the exam hall, I was oblivious to everything else around me. I tried revising a few math formulae at the end hoping that that would help. After it was time, I got my seat in the exam hall and sat down. It was a small school bench barely enough for me. It had to accommodate another person. I kept praying it was a girl.

Then he walked in. I had seen him outside smoking near where the bikes were parked. He had been looking at me intently and I instantly slotted him in the 'Absolutely not' category. Yeah, I had categories back then. To my horror, he walked up and sat right next to me. I expected him to reek of cigarette smoke. Surprisingly he did not smell so bad. He fidgeted around for a few minutes. The genius had walked in with a pen and nothing else. Did he not read the instructions? He looked at me. I had a whole kit there. Three pencils, an eraser, a sharpener and what not. He then asked me for a pencil. I felt like lecturing him about reading instructions and all but I just did not want to spoil the flow. That was just the cue he needed. A glib talker, he quickly got me to tell my name and what I studied and all. He even had the cheek to make fun of my name. I hated him so much at that moment. He told me his name was Ajay and flashed a smile. And thats when it all started.

He asked me out - in the middle of a national exam. Who does that? I stared in disbelief for a few seconds before asking him to shut up. He continued to ask me out throughout the exam. It wasn't the cheap 'please please' type. Everytime he asked me out, he had a different reason why. Despite the moment, I kinda found it innovative. And he wasn't bad looking either. Just different. I ignored him. I saw him filling up the paper at rocket speed and figured he would never pass. We gave the paper at the same time and got up. He tried talking to me all the way down till we got out of the school. I just turned around and flashed the angriest expression I could muster up and told him to go away and threatened to inform the officials. He looked stunned (like he did not expect it at all). He quietly said sorry and walked away very slowly (vintage Ajay emo blackmail). I felt miserable. I tore some of the question paper off and wrote my phone number on it. I stared at it for sometime and then on impulse, I went and tapped him on his shoulder and put the paper in his hand and ran off. The last time I turned back and looked, he was grinning at me. For some reason, that gave me such a high.

3 weeks later, I had given up all hope of this guy calling me up. I was planning to go out with some friends of mine but I was dreading this visit to the movies. There was this guy in that group who had a big crush on me and I just couldn't stand him. Out of the blue, my phone rang and it was Ajay calling. I recall being shocked, angry and relieved at the same time. He then told me how his pant got washed along with my note and then got ironed and then he noticed the number. He was lucky the numbers were still intact because of the way he crushed the paper and threw it inside. Utterly irresponsible. He asked me out then. I told him that I wanted to meet up too but I had to go out with friends. I felt horrible doing that as I wanted to meet him so bad. We went to a movie theater closer to my place which is outside the city. I told Ajay where I was going. I did not expect him to come there obviously. Imagine my surprise when I saw him standing there. He coolly walked up to me and hugged me like I was his girlfriend and then kissed me. I remember the goosebumps. I had never kissed a guy before and it was awesome. That other guy was fuming. He tried to break us up but Ajay pushed him away telling him that I was his girlfriend (in what I now think is one of the lamest dialogues ever). Somehow, I couldn't even get myself to protest. I think that was when I had started to fall in love. And the feeling was indescribable.

P.S. He beat me at the CAT exam and scored a 91 percentile without even studying. Well... I was not allowed to concentrate and he is to be blamed! :)

Plans :)

2009-09-21T12:23:00.003+05:30

Eid Mubarak world!

The first long weekend of September is drawing to a close. Between beers, coffees, forced shopping and rock shows, this one rocked. Went to see the rock band competition at Extreme Sports Bar. Lost In Translation, a band that has a lot of my colleagues in it was making a comeback after two and a half years. They rocked. Too bad the judges did not allow them to continue after their 25 minute slot.

We're also making plans to use one of the weekends for a small trip. As always, my thoughts gravitated towards Vizag. I dont know what it is about that place that draws me there every time. Well, Tush suggested that we try Dindi instead which is in the East Godavari area. They even offer a cruise as a part of the vacation plan. Sounds good. It might just be a little expensive. We're working that out. :)

Check it out here.

Remembering Peaches!

2009-09-13T21:37:00.007+05:30

Peaches, was Liz's dog. A rare breed - a friendly pom! I hadn't thought of Peaches in a long time and yet today, all of a sudden, memories just came flooding out.

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Was coming back home with a visibly pissed off grandfather. Why? Who knows? They're grandparents and apparently don't need a reason. Anyway, as we neared home, I saw what looked like Tushar's dog, Doey, run past. She was gone before I could look back. I called Tush up as soon as we got home and it turned out that no one was home and so it was highly possible that that was Doey.

Tushar then came around my place and we went looking for Doey. Stupidly enough, we went out in the Innova which was tough to maneuver. We then went back and got my bike. Then we got a call from another family friend that she was seen near their house. We headed there. We kinda realized that she seemed to be heading to their construction site. We headed in that general direction and sure enough, she was there. She had found her way there after having been taken there just a few times. Man, was that relieving.

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Peaches had gone missing in much the same way. Unfortunately, no one had seen her. No one to tell us where she had gone. She went missing in the morning and within a few hours all of us friends were there looking for her. Considering they stayed in the outskirts of the city, Peaches could have gone anywhere. She was old and cranky.

I found her. She had been hit by a vehicle. I remember sitting there choking up. The others arrived a few moments later. Lizzie broke down over there and sat on the road with Peaches in her arms. I still remember her crying. It brings tears to my eyes even now.

We had her funeral on that same rainy August day. I was just a kid trying to console another. I kept asking Lizzie to stop crying and now in retrospect, I think it was dumb of me to ask that. I also kept asking her if I could do something for her. What could I do? I could not bring Peaches back for her. Despite her tears, she turned to me with an expression frozen midway between anger and grief and asked me if I could quit smoking for her. And I quit.. instantly.

Despite the number of years I'm putting between that day, the memories remain just as fresh in my mind. I'm glad everything worked out good today. If only that day had ended differently...

Afternoons In The Monsoon

2009-08-27T10:45:00.004+05:30

Remember when we had the time and patience to sit and watch the rain fall? I happened to come across the awesome video posted above. Its the sound of rain and thunder while on a river. When I think about it, all of us friends have spent some amazing time in the rain. I remember going on drives with Tush (and sometimes Anu) towards Shamirpet or just to Kapra lake. I used to love those rides. :)

And Lizzie, those awesome afternoons under that gazebo at the lake park at Osman Sagar... are some of the best memories I have of the time we spent together. Sitting there with some piping hot onion samosas (and an occasional beer) and watch the rain shake up the lake. Yeah... heavens the word for this!

House Of Cards - (Radiohead)

2009-08-06T14:57:00.003+05:30

Just something I came to hear along the way...

I don't want to be your friend
I just want to be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts

Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine

Fall off the table and get swept under

Denial, denial

The infrastructure will collapse
From voltage spikes
Put your keys in the bowl
Kiss your husband goodnight

Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I'll do mine

Fall off the table and get swept under

Denial, denial
Denial, denial

Finally Alone...

2009-07-20T19:34:00.004+05:30

Finally alone..
This was not what I wanted.
I'd give anything
to get it all back.

That one perfect minute
when the hearts intertwine
to bend to the melody
of the soul.

It ended so fast,
as if by a mysterious force.
Little did I know
such forces flow freely in me.

And, now I sit quietly,
gazing in to the sunset,
the strong scent of a cigarette
invading my senses,
I quietly watch the smoke melt away.

I cant help but stare,
wondering why I am here
and not with her.
Wonders of the heart
will never cease to be,
emotions running wild,
I try to see where I went wrong.

I realize for the first time
the fault lies within me,
at the core of my very being.
Close my eyes and breathe deep,
I try to make peace with my demons,
and bare my heart bravely
to the ravages of heartbreak.

Never Gonna Be Alone

2009-07-07T16:10:00.003+05:30

Sometimes, it takes several moments for it to sink in and sometimes, it takes but an instant. Never rush it but waiting for it to happen is not great too. They say that we realize how important someone is for us only after we lose them. Love is special. Cherish it while it lasts because this moment will never come again. Freeze your happiness and your love in this moment of time. Open up cherie .. for you may not have this chance again.

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.
Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of it to you.
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

You never gonna be alone!
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall...
Your never gonna be alone!
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,
'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you,
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

You never gonna be alone!
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world on,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

Ooooh!
You've gotta live every single day,
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away,
Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun.
Every single day,
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes...

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.

You never gonna be alone!
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world on,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

I'm gonna be there all along the way
I won't be missing one more day
I'm gonna be there all along the way
I won't be missing one more day

21 Guns

2009-07-04T23:19:00.006+05:30

The lyrics of Green Day's '21 Guns'... a masterpiece!

Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins.

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Twilight

2009-07-03T09:24:00.003+05:30

His dreams were broken
their fragments scattered.
Bent down to pick them up
and he realized,
they were now pieces of another puzzle.

He closed his eyes,
each breath drawing in memories
of a life he once had.

He wandered around,
lost in his thoughts,
thoughts of the twilight of his emotions.

His senses grew numb
as he waited
for the darkness to take control.
His heart shuddered
at the thought of departure.

He closed his eyes
and slept deep
until the time he is called again
to be a part
of another puzzle.

Last Night On Earth

2009-06-26T14:10:00.002+05:30

I text a postcard, sent to you
Did it go through?
Sending all my love to you.
You are the moonlight of my life every night
Giving all my love to you
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you.

With every breath that I am worth
Here on Earth
I'm sending all my love to you.
So if you dare to second guess
You can rest assured
That all my love's for you

My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you.

My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
Did I ever make it through?

The Best Funny Signs Ever...

2009-06-13T10:37:00.019+05:30

Potty training?

Irony is lost on some people...

Doggies... bark once if this helps. :)

Like duh..

Now thats asking for it.. :)

You dont say... you dumbass!

Not such a good place to go driving in a car.. hah :)

That sure kills my plans :)

Talk about getting around the rules :P

Umm.. sure.. now about the bridge.. :)

Heh heh :) LMAO :)

Grr...

Aaah this must be the one... :D ROTFL!

The Roof Is On Fire - Chipmunks :)

2009-06-12T20:40:00.002+05:30

LOL :) Sounds like someone is trying to drown the damn chipmunks :)

For the heart I once had...

2009-06-11T15:53:00.005+05:30

Heaven today is but a way
To a place I once called home
Heart of a child, one final sigh
As another love goes cold

Once my heart beat to the
Rhythm of the falling snow
Blackened below, the river now flows
A stream of molten virgin snow

For the heart I'll never have
For the child forever gone
The music flows because it longs
For the heart I once had

Living today without a way
To understand the weight of the world
Faded and torn, old and forlorn
My weak and hoping heart

For the child, for the light
For the heart I once had
I'll believe and foresee
Everything I could ever be

For the heart I'll never have
For the child forever gone
The music flows because it longs
For the heart I once had

Time will not heal a dead boy's scars
Time will kill

For the heart I'll never have
For the child forever gone
The music flows because it longs
For the heart I once had

Where Angels Fear To Tread

2009-06-09T11:00:00.002+05:30

Well Im wrapped around your finger
Im never letting go
You know Im happy just to linger
And let the feeling flow

This must be an illusion
I know this cant be real
But right here and right now
This is paradise I feel

I never thought Id find someone to move me
Someone who could see right thru me
You found your way into my head
Where even angels fear to tread

Dont wanna go out walkin
Dont wanna take a drive
Dont wanna move from this sweet spot baby
While this feelins still alive

The way we fit together
Its like were meant to be
And right here and right now
This is paradise to me

Are We Human?

2009-05-25T10:18:00.002+05:30

"Alessandra Go!" ... Sorry... she is gorgeous!

I did my best to notice
when the call came down the line
up to the platform of surrender
I was brought but I was kind
and sometimes I get nervous
when I see an open door

close your eyes, clear your heart

cut the cord
are we human or are we dancer
my sign is vital, my hands are cold
and I’m on my knees looking for the answer
are we human or are we dancer

pay my respects to grace and virtue
send my condolences to good
give my regards to soul and romance
they always did the best they could
and so long to devotion, you taught me everything I know
wave good bye, wish me well

you gotta let me go
are we human or are we dancer
my sign is vital, my hands are cold
and I’m on my knees looking for the answer
are we human or are we dancer

will your system be alright
when you dream of home tonight
there is no message were receiving
let me know is your heart still beating

are we human or are we dancer
my sign is vital, my hands are cold
and I’m on my knees looking for the answer

you’ve gotta let me know
are we human or are we dancer
my sign is vital, my hands are cold
and I’m on my knees looking for the answer
are we human
or are we dancer

are we human or are we dancer
are we human or are we dancer

Dreams At Twilight!

2009-05-17T20:36:00.006+05:30

Come to think of it, it was never meant to happen. Nonetheless, when it did happen, it almost felt like a kick to the gut. Expectations are powerful adversaries. They are occasionally allies but that is a conversation for a better time. It rendered my thoughts incoherent for a long time, hiding my intentions from myself. It hit with a terrifying subtlety.

Now, that the storm has passed, I can't but help think that I brought this on myself. An unfortunate lack of control over my emotions. Life has become a journey from one emotion to another. Was it meant to be this way? If it is, I am there and is this what it was supposed to be like? I ask this because I am neither sad nor am I happy. Just an impassionate surrender to events beyond my control.

Friday... I'm in love!

2009-05-08T17:24:00.006+05:30

Happy Friday!

I don't care if monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and wednesday too
Thursday i don't care about you
It's friday i'm in love

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's friday i'm in love

Saturday wait
And sunday always comes too late
But friday never hesitate...

I don't care if monday's black
Tuesday wednesday heart attack
Thursday never looking back
It's friday i'm in love

Monday you can hold your head
Tuesday wednesday stay in bed
Or thursday watch the walls instead
It's friday i'm in love

Saturday wait
And sunday always comes too late
But friday never hesitate...

Dressed up to the eyes
It's a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise

Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round

Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night

You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's friday
I'm in love!

What now?

2009-04-28T19:09:00.005+05:30

What now?

I know not. For all the newfound wisdom, now that I truly remember the eons past... I don't know. I grieve for the loss of life, for the suffering, for the battles and yet I rejoice in their glorious tales whose wonder will never die. But now I stand alone, at the crossroads of eternity, waiting to fade away from the memories of my past.

And as I peer in to the veils of eternity, I see nothing. If only I had a star to guide me or a bird to show me a sign.

The end is past and the its time for new stories and a braver new world. For the moment, I think, I will rest. I'll lie still and silent. Strip my mind of thoughts. I shall close my eyes and breathe deep the slumber of eons.

Special

2009-04-20T10:10:00.002+05:30

At some point in time, a person is blessed with meeting someone so special who touches life in a way that no one has before, in a way that is inexpressible, as it is a mutual linking of two hearts, friendship like no other, for you know it is something special right from the beginning, even if you have known the person for a very short time.

It is rare... and special!

Crashing Down!

2009-04-11T01:11:00.003+05:30

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we have no control over life. One moment, life is perfect and the next moment, suddenly you're crashing down. Trying your best to hold on to those beautiful memories. A part of me is dying today and I have no one to mourn with. I surrender myself to the pain, to the memories, to what all we represent and to the future.

These back steps are steeper to the ground
The brightest stars are falling down
I’m walking the edge, walking the tightest rope
We can be frank, reality rips on through, rolling like a hurricane
I’m over the bridge and under the rain

If everything’s falling, if everything’s changed
If I’m in the open, if I’m in the way
What am I doing here
If you’re not with me

What have I got to live for, if it’s just my own dream
Take it back to the beginning, back to the start
When gravity’s pulling, you’re still holding my heart
You come crashing down
Crashing down

These four walls are closing in on me
The talk is louder than I’ll sing
I want to be there, want to be where you are
but you know it all, Every look and smile that aren’t meant to break
I’m over the bridge and under the rain

If everything’s falling, if everything’s changed
If I’m in the open, if I’m in the way
What am I doing here
If you’re not with me

What have I got to live for, if it’s just my own dream
Take it back to the beginning, back to the start
When gravity’s pulling, you’re still holding my heart
You come crashing down
Crashing down

And you say that everything is different, why don’t we just hold on
And you say that everything is different, why don’t we just hold on
Crashing down

Negativity

2009-04-04T23:26:00.005+05:30

There are these odd days when nothing seems to happen to you but a whole lot happens everywhere around you. It is intriguing that on closer introspection, what happens around you is somehow closely related to you. Why do what people say affect me? Actually they don't... not very much at least. I now see that people are saying only things that affect me. Odd right? The problem is in me. I'm making them say these things. Nope I am not telepathic now (I wish).

I have filled myself with so much negativity that I twist situations to suit that frame of mind. I feel sad when I see beggars on the streets and I wish I could do something. I have the same feeling of despair when I watch extremists impose their will on the weak and defenseless. I am most miserable when I see children begging for money to satisfy their hunger, not knowing that there is a life beyond ensuring that there is dinner. But what I don't see is that there are situations that are not as bad as I make them out to be. What I seem to forget is that I have in me the possibility of making things better.

My feelings influenced the mood in this case. Its time to let their feelings influence me. I give the beggars some food and their faces light up like the fireworks at New Year. Didn't that make a difference? In a small way... it did! Small incidents like this are helping me drive the negativity out. Its time for a little more balance. Its time for healing! Finally, after so long, I think there is a way out!

Pre-School Politics

2009-03-16T10:46:00.001+05:30

Why I Chose You...

2009-02-25T10:55:00.003+05:30

People ask me why you chose me. They've asked me so much that I realize I have no answer to this either. What I know is why I chose you. You make my life happier. Everything I see has a different shade to it. You bring about the best in me. Loads of love...

Gunguni dhoop ki tarah se taranum mein tum,
Choo ke mujhe guzari hu yu,
Dekhu tumhe ya mein sunu,
Tum ho sukoon, tum ho junoon,
Kyu pehle naa aayi tum?

Lousy Shot At Pool!

2009-02-20T14:31:00.001+05:30

This is pretty much how I am at Pool (the game.) All the preparation and I fizzle out at the wrong time. :P

Everything

2009-02-09T17:50:00.000+05:30

And more...

I'd Come For You

2009-02-06T12:56:00.002+05:30

Just one more moment, that's all that's needed.
Like wounded soldiers in need of healing
Time to be honest, this time I'm pleading
Please don't dwell on it, cause I didn't mean it

I can't believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground
But it doesn't matter cause I
made it up. Forgive me now
Everyday I spend away my souls inside out
Gotta be some way that I can make it
up to you now, somehow.

By now you know that
I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you

I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing
My mind was closing, now I'm believing
I finally know just what it
means to let someone in
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will
So if you're ever lost and find yourself all alone
I'd search forever just to bring you home,
Here and now this I vow

By now you know that
I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you
You know I'd always come for you

No matter what gets in my way
As long as there's still life in me
No matter what, remember you know
I'll always come for you

Yes I'd come for you, no one but you,
Yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to

And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you

No matter what gets in my way
As long as there's still life in me
No matter what, remember you know
I'll always come for you
I'd crawl across this world for you
Do anything you want me to
No matter what, remember you know
I'll always come for you
You know I'll always come for you

The Lost Generation

2009-02-03T17:40:00.000+05:30

Somethings are more important!

Us

2009-02-02T22:46:00.004+05:30

"To the four years I've known you. To the one year we've spent apart. To your passion and to my quirks. To the great time we've spent together and to all the love in between. To Us... all over again."

Discover Coldplay!

Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are.

I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Oh let's go back to the start.

Runnin' in circles,
Comin' in tails,
Heads on a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin',
At numbers and figures,
Pullin' the puzzles apart.

Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh, what a rush to the start.

Runnin' in circles,
Chasin' tails,
Comin' back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm goin' back to the start.

Regressive Moral Values

2009-01-27T22:00:00.006+05:30

The incident in Mangalore was the most despicable and deplorable incident I've seen in a long, long time. 40 men barged in to a pub shouting slogans and tried to do what they justify as moral policing. What they really did was molest 5 girls. The Sri Ram Sena argues that women in India are having their morals and their culture eroded by what is termed as the 'Pub Culture.' Even sadder is the response of our political parties who are busy playing the blame game.

What irritates me the most is that some people feel comfortable imposing their will over others. Such instances can be seen everywhere. Some people feel the need to police others morals. It is unfair for anyone to have to live according to the opinion of someone else.

I will not have anyone tell me:

- Who I can see.
- Where I can go.
- What I can or can't wear.
- What religious beliefs I can have.
- What patriotism means to me.
- What my habits should be.
- Who I can have as friends.
- What my culture is.

People who are desperately hanging on their beliefs find it necessary to impose them on others. Belief is personal. What is personal to me is nobody's business.

The Goa Trip!

2009-01-19T11:32:00.006+05:30

We're going to Goa this Friday. We haven't the foggiest idea as to what we'll do there. More often that not, these trips turn out to be the most memorable. People at home often wonder why I need to go out so often. I don't really know why, but I hope that these lyrics from a Smashmouth song can say it all:

" Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place.
I said yep! what a concept.
I could use a little fuel myself;
And we could all use a little change. "

Le Voyage de Goa Diaries!

Today!

2009-01-13T16:03:00.001+05:30

I'm bored to death and my work refuses to work on auto-pilot. :(

Memories

2009-01-07T23:48:00.002+05:30

The movie 'When Harry Met Sally' was on TV tonight. Wow. Its been a really long time since I saw that movie. That was Lizzie's favorite movie and we used to watch it all the time. She'd tell me how romantic the movie was and how she'd wish we could have met like Billy and Meg do in the movie. I'd remind her that we'd have to split up for that and then meet again purely by chance and she'd laugh.

And now, ironically, I find myself wishing that would happen. Just one of those times.

Going Green!

2009-01-02T16:37:00.004+05:30

I turned vegetarian for this year. Its a scary prospect considering the kind of non-vegetarian I am. It feels good in an odd kind of way to be a veggie. I'm sure a lot of people I know are giving me knowing grins to me as they spent a good amount of time convincing me that being a non-vegetarian was not the way to be. Cool now? Yeah, way cool.

I went from this:

to this:

Umm... expecting some comments at least. :)

How Google Chrome Was Created!

2008-12-30T14:15:00.001+05:30

Lol!

Nightwish - Eva

2008-12-24T16:20:00.001+05:30

Old song... I know! But, I'm in the mood for some beautiful songs like this one.

6:30 winter morn
Snow keeps falling, silent dawn
A rose by any other name
Eva leaves her Swanbrook home
A kindest heart which always made
Me ashamed of my own
She walks alone but not without her name

Eva flies away
Dreams the world far away
In this cruel children's game
There's no friend to call her name
Eva sails away
Dreams the world far away
The Good in her will be my sunflower field

Mocked by man to depths of shame
Little girl with life ahead
For a memory of one kind word
She would stay among the beasts
Time for one more daring dream
Before her escape, edenbeam
We kill with her own loving heart

Eva flies away
Dreams the world far away
In this cruel children's game
There's no friend to call her name
Eva sails away
Dreams the world far away
The Good in her will be my sunflower field

Just watch this!

2008-12-24T14:25:00.000+05:30

Rab Ne Bana Di Movie...

2008-12-20T23:39:00.003+05:30

We made our usual last minute plans to grab a movie today. On my insistence, we chose to watch 'Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi' at Anand. We had read all the reviews and despite the fact that most reviewers had panned it, we decided to try and see if we could get lucky.

I have to say that I loved the movie. Ok, so Anushka is a real babe and the whole trip was worth it just to see how she acted. I still feel that the overall feel of the movie was nice. When was the last time you saw a movie with characters like these? A timid, well-mannered middle-class man with simple dreams and simple needs. A girl, modern in many ways and yet simple and traditional in a likable way. And a story of their lives Hindi movie ishtyle.

Goes to show that even in today's world there is sense in portraying such characters because people still identify with them. A movie, simple and funny, not gay (no offense), with no violence, with lovely songs, and a star-cast that can make you smile the two and a half hours you sit in the movie hall is definitely worth my time. Like I seem to say a lot nowadays, we need a little more love in our world anyway.

I know a lot of people demanded histrionics and a stronger storyline. Some people even mentioned that they were sick of Shahrukh Khan's style of acting. Some even wondered at how the girl couldn't recognize her own husband. Valid questions I suppose. But... its just a movie guys. How many movies make you come out of the movie hall smiling? It felt nice watching a simple movie like this after so many years. Its a Hindi movie - no go looking for accuracy - situational, factual or logical. Therefore, don't look. Just enjoy!

Ok. Enough 'Macho-di.'

Your World Is Changing...

2008-12-18T19:41:00.004+05:30

I just read and commented on a friend's blog. His post was about the ineptitude of our politicians in handling the Mumbai terror attacks. There was so much of hate and frustration in his post. This is a sentiment expressed all over the blogosphere. All of sudden, there is so much of hate, so much of sadness, and so much of frustration. At times, all this is so overwhelming. Everywhere you go, people only talk about this.

Can we have a little peace? Its not so much to ask for. All that hatred is slowly finding its way in to all of our lives. If you're not aware of it yet, I think its time you looked in to yourself and asked yourself if you're the same innocent person you were some time back. Oddly, I don't feel like changing in any way, but I can feel my world change about me. Its a disorienting feeling that leaves you with empty spaces in your heart. I'm not going to let that happen. Time for me to fix my world again.

Time to heal. Peace!

PSP: How much more do I wait?

2008-12-17T18:53:00.006+05:30

My PSP is on its way and loads of people already know that because I've been going around like an energizer bunny telling everyone. It should be here a little before New Year. I am getting the Ratchet & Clank Entertainment Pack. This comes with the Ratchet & Clank game. I am also buying the Star Wars: Force Unleashed game. This is among the best things I've been gifted ever. :)

A Geek Story

2008-12-17T13:33:00.002+05:30

LOL Shashi!!!

You Are Here.

2008-12-16T16:42:00.005+05:30

Have you read one of those books where you identify with the character at some level even though the character is different from you in so many obvious ways. Totally loved reading what Arshi, the protagonist of the story felt like in different situations. The best part about this book is that its been authored by a fellow blogger blogger, the Compulsive Confessor. The author of the book and the blog is Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan.

Read it. I loved reading it a lot.

The Awww part.

2008-12-15T11:13:00.002+05:30

So, some people who read my blog evidently pushed the post on the sarcasm to my whole team and I had some close(r) friends asking me about it. I suppose they felt hurt. I apologize to those it was not intended to hurt. What can I say, shit happens.

This post was not about making a statement and hoping people find it and then spread it around for me. It is personal space and the feelings expressed are personal and are not directed at anyone in particular. While most people had something genuine to write, for others, it was a chore. It has been a chore for them to get to know me better too. So, some of those people just echoed the common sentiment that I am sarcastic. Well, I am to an extent. But the intentions were never to hurt people. I mean, was it so tough for people to see that?

I have nothing more to say on this.

12 December 2008 - 13 December 2008.

2008-12-13T08:55:00.003+05:30

10:30: My grandpa suddenly complained of severe rigor and was unable to breathe. I rushed down and got the oxygen cylinder ready. His breathing steadied a bit. I began to notice that his rigor kept getting worse. Finally, we decided to take him to the hospital. He kept gasping for breath even though we had the oxygen cylinder put to his mouth. I noticed that the cylinder was pretty near empty by the time we were midway to the hospital. I didn't tell him that because I was worried he would panic even more than what he already was. Being an asthmatic, I know what he felt like as he gasped. But, it was scary seeing it from the outside for the first time.

11:30: We're at the hospital. Hes been taken to the E.R. Almost as soon as he was put on the oxygen cylinder there, he began to feel better. Evidently, the little oxygen cylinder we had was not working as well as we had hoped it would. His rigor had subsided quite a bit. I felt a little relaxed knowing that he was better now.

12:00: Panic at the hospital as another patient was brought in. An old man in his sixties, his head hanging to one side and his hand almost falling off the stretcher. I feared the worst but I forced my mind to shut out those thoughts. The old lady and the young man accompanying her clung to eachother anxious to know what has happened. The doctor walked out, slowly and deliberately over to the duo and softly broke the news that the man was no more. It was scary. The womans' wails filled the tiny ER. It was the saddest thing I had ever seen.

01:00: Grandpa is moved in to the ICU. He seems to be fine. I stay back with him while the others leave for home. Grandpa jokes that he thought he was a goner this time. I smiled and told him that I had experienced this many-a-time and that I was still around. He smiled. Barely able to talk, he still found the energy to tell me how glad he was that everything worked out and that he was on his way to recovery. I sat with him for about two hours. You pull a few strings in India, and they even let you sit in the ICU. It was an odd sight. My grandpa lying there in the middle of all the wires and pipes with the machines making a steady and rhythmic tune. I don't want to ever see that again.

03:30: They offered an empty room to get some sleep in. I gladly accepted their offer. My night was slowly coming to an end. I slept deeply. Had a few disturbing dreams (I wont call them nightmares) but they weren't about grandpa. I guess I know that he'll recover and be fine soon. I hope he gets back home soon.

Numbing The Pain

2008-12-11T16:17:00.004+05:30

Many a time, I've obsessed about extreme feelings. I feel scared to use words like death or suicide. I've never walked that close to the edge. But, I have felt emotions strong enough to feel pain -- searing, excruciating pain. Makes the mind hallucinate, do things you'd never do. Just anything to get the pain to stop. Darkness that engulfs the mind and the soul - my mind trained to fight it - just making this more difficult than it should be. All I want is reassurance and peace too. Is it too much to ask? Another chance at peace? Why can't I lie to myself like others do? Condemned be the one who has to face his fears daily and not know that there be a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I've moved on ... quite a while back. I was surprised that these feelings suddenly surfaced again. I was listening to this beautiful song then.

Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing toothache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensation's overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that’s alright
Jimmy says its better than here,
I’ll tell you what

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensation's overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

ho novacaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensation's overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

Shock and Awww!

2008-12-11T10:48:00.003+05:30

How sarcastic am I? Quite sarcastic apparently. At a recent team outing, the guys (more girls than guys really and sadly more girl-like guys than guys too) were supposed to write something each of them wished for me this Christmas. Evidently, the literary geniuses read that as something they wished I would do rather than something they wished for me. Each one of them mentioned that I ought to be less sarcastic and all. What a shit gift to receive and that too from a audience like that.

It was funny that some people thought I would change for them. I mean how asinine are they if they're going to want me to change for them. Evidently, they had their heads much farther up their a$$@$ than I had previously thought.

Gotta Be Somebody- Nickelback

2008-12-10T10:33:00.001+05:30

This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with

`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And damn it this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

You can´t give up!
When you're Lookin´ for a diamond in the rough
Because you never know when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh.

Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There `s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.

War On Mumbai!

2008-11-30T11:23:00.002+05:30

Terrorists struck the Maximum City at nine places on the 25th. They left the city scarred and angry. The anger is not limited to the people affected as it usually is in our country. There is a wide spread feeling of angst and discontent across the country. Our policemen and army personnel have laid down their lives to contain the situation and all the politicians could do was use the situation against their political rivals. That is sad and disgusting at so many levels. The people have a right to feel agitated.

There are a few things that have come out of all this which are worth noting and some of which can be implemented.

1. Do we have a central agency that specifically deals with terror threats of this sort? If not, no better time than now to create one. This force should be accountable only to the highest authority in our country, the President.

2. Why do our policemen carry World War I rifles to a fire fight? For a country this big, can't we afford to equip our officers and jawans with decent weapons? The terrorists were equipped with A.K. 47s and our men with those antique pieces that would guarantee our men a place in history themselves?

3. The security levels at these places is very lax. Why is it so? We crib about having higher levels of unemployment. I think that this could be an avenue for employment. We need to beef up the security at places like the ones that were attacked. Even if they don't end up really doing much for the security bit, they would at least end up relaying the information across town.

4. Information gathered by various agencies is not shared. I suppose this is an issue in every country. However, things in India are different enough to warrant such an access to information. I suppose this rings back to the first point about having a centralized agency to fight terror.

Like every other time, are we going to let all of this go? All the stuff I mentioned were points that came up in all the discussions that followed this sad event. Everyone heard it. Will someone do something about it?

India beat England 5-0

2008-11-26T22:55:00.004+05:30

India won! We've now beaten England 5-0 in the seven match series. Dhoni and Raina steadied the innings towards the end after the brilliant start by Sehwag and Tendulkar. We cruised to victory easily. One would wonder if there could be anything that could mar such a happy occasion. Apparently there is something.

The match being telecast on Neo Cricket was constantly interrupted to show ads. They would not only show ads between overs but even if there was a replay or if a third umpire decision was pending. Any little free time and you'd see an ad. Most of the time, the ads would be shown till the very last moment and we'd be taken back to be shown the main shot after which another ad would be shown. This is worst example of unprofessional advertising means employed by any ad agency.

Neo Cricket is supposed to be a channel dedicated to Cricket and is supposed to be for Cricket lovers. The blatant misuse of their advertising rights shows us that money takes precedence over morals. I hope that this channel is not given anymore exclusive broadcasting rights.

P.S. I am super happy that India is rocking now!!!

Live as if...

2008-11-25T14:00:00.003+05:30

Just something I heard in passing:

Work as if you have no need of the money.
Love as if nobody ever made you suffer.
Dance as if nobody is watching you.
Sing as if nobody is hearing you.
Live as if it were heaven on earth.

You ask me if this is really possible? Well, you'll never know till you try. :) It did occur to me that this did look a lot like those annoying email forwards we keep getting. This one in particular was interesting. Have we ever given thought to how we live our lives? Life is not about patterns but it is more about opening up and exploring new emotions.

Still Missing You!

2008-11-20T18:19:00.003+05:30

Been six months since the big breakup -- the big kapish! All these days later, I sat down to see if this has changed me in any way. And apparently it has. It was so much easier back then. I didn't care for anyone else and I didn't care if others cared either. Its no fun to be alone so suddenly. It sucks to feel so incomplete. The world around me has changed. I know there are some people who definitely hate me for some reason. Thats the sad part - I don't even know the reason. This seems so much the like the old days at college.

Considering how vulnerable I feel, I find it even more difficult to start over with all these people behaving in such a manner. I think I should take off for some time and work on other things. Obviously, work is not as fulfilling and time-consuming as I hoped it would be. It is tough to understand what I'm going through because - as cliched as it may sound - I don't have words to describe the loneliness. I have become unusually rude to people to keep them away from me. I know of many people I could have really hurt if I let my sarcasm out. Thank god I've not fallen that far.

I am writing all this so that I know what I felt like even after I have healed. I understand that the first step in healing is to forget the past. I've done a lot of things I regret. Its time to move on. And thats what I am going to do. I have made many new friends who I like. I don't care overly much for the ones who know hate me. At the end of the day, my problems and these people are probably nothing compared to what some others are going through. I call a time-out.

Love & Peace

- Aj

What I'm listening to on November 18, 2008

2008-11-18T11:36:00.003+05:30

Discover !

Laura Pausini - Inveche No

2008-11-15T22:19:00.006+05:30

This song is in a language I don't understand. Yet I find this song captivating and I can't stop listening to it. I've got the lyrics. Hope everyone listening to this song enjoys the music.

Forse bastava respirare, solo respirare un pò
fino a riprendersi ogni battito
e non cercare lattimo, per andar via (non andare via)
perchè non può essere abitudine
dicembre senza te, chi resta qui spera limpossibile

Invece no, non cè più tempo per spiegare
per chiedere se ti avevo dato amore
io sono qui e avrei da dire ancora, ancora

Perche si spezzano tra i denti
le cose più importanti
quelle parole che non osiamo mai
e faccio un tuffo nel dolore, per farle risalire
riportarle qui, una per una qui
le senti tu pesano e si posano per sempre su di noi
e se manchi tu, io non so riperterle io non riesco a dirle più

Invece no, qui piovono i ricordi
ed io farei di più, di ammettere che è tardi
come vorrei, poter parlare ancora ancora

E Invece no, non ho più tempo per spiegare
avevo anchio ( io) qualcosa da sperare davanti a me
qualcosa da finire insieme a te.

Forse mi basta respirare
solo respirare un pò
Forse è Tardi, forse invece no.

Proud To Be An Indian!

2008-11-13T21:54:00.004+05:30

I am not proud to be an Indian! The lady on the news channel kept repeating this throughout the debate. This lady was the distressed wife of a sailor whose ship has been hijacked by Somalian pirates and she was irate and blamed the government for not doing anything to save her husband.

Another girl recounted her sad story of the search for her father who was kidnapped by the Naxals. She mentioned that the government had given up on her father and that she was in the process of collecting one crore rupees to fund a private search for her father. She said that at that point in time, she was ashamed to call herself an Indian and sung praises of how the governments of other nations look after its' citizens.

While these were just two isolated cases, there were the usual killings, bomb blasts and political allegations. The news broadcast was done; I shrugged and then changed the channel. I'm sure most of us would have done that. How is it that people like us get the right to go on national television and proclaim that you are not proud of being an Indian? The awakening does not happen till someone close to home gets hurt. It is never our fight till it involves us.

I am proud of the resilience of our country. I am extremely proud of the zeal and the enthusiasm shown by the youngsters of our country in coming out and supporting the causes of others like it were their own. I am proud of those few policies our political parties pursue which are actually of use to us. I am proud of my local police team who worked tirelessly to locate a missing child a week ago. I am proud of those ads on the TV telling people to go and vote.

I am also proud of the spirit of our people who bounce back each time there is a bombing. People, who pick themselves up and move on with their lives like nothing happened. I'm proud of my country and my people. I am proud to be an Indian.

With so many good things on one side of the scale, how can anyone possibly find the other side weighing more?

Maula Mere

2008-11-03T17:54:00.001+05:30

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eSnips Social DNA

Maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere - 4
aankhein teri - 2, kitni haseen
ki inkaa aashiq, mein ban gayaa hoon
mujhako basaa le, iname tu
(ishq hai
maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere - 2) - 3

ki inakaa aashiq, mein ban gayaa hoon
mujhako basaa le, iname tu

mujhase yeh har ghadi, meraa dil kahe
tum hi ho usaki aarzoo
mujhase yeh har ghadi, mere lab kahe
teri hi ho sab guftagoo
baatein teri itni haseen, main yaad inko jab kartaa hoon
phoolon si aaye, khushaboo

rakh loon chhupaa ke main kahin tujhako
saayaa bhi teraa naa main doon
rakh loon banaa ke kahin ghar, main tujhe
saath tere, main hi rahoon
julfen teri, itni ghani
dekh ke inako, yeh sochataa hoon
saaye me, inake main jiyoon
(ishq hai
maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere - 2) - 3

(meraa dil yahi bolaa, meraa dil yahi bolaa,
yaara raaj yeh usane hai mujh par kholaa
ki hai ishq mohabbat, jiske dil mein
usko pasand karta hai maulaa) - 3

Turning Good?

2008-11-02T10:45:00.003+05:30

Theres this little widget to the side on my blog that tells me how good or evil my blog is. Turns out, I've fallen from being 47% evil to just 29% evil! I knew it. I'm losing my touch. Must be all my posts that are sappy and/or nice.

Instant Karma!!!

2008-11-02T10:40:00.002+05:30

So, we Hindus have this whole belief that a puja (ritual) can cleanse us and wipe our sins away. Yep… even better than Harpic. So, dad had this big puja a few days back. It was interesting to see how it all turned out. This puja was done in a small town called Narasaraopet in Andhra Pradesh. Here it goes (in no particular order):

1. All the muslim guests stayed away.

2. I don’t think any guests of any other religion were invited (!).

3. All the old ladies spent their time gossiping about last night’s soap/kitchen politics.

4. The men discussed politics (the regular ones) and business (recession na… hot topic now)…. and of course, sports.

5. The pujari (priest/facilitator/middle man/soporific) was in his own world… chanting some mumbo-jumbo. God only knows if the stuff he was muttering even made any sense.

6. I was hardly around… the bloody pujari kept asking for things that he thought ought to be there. I was the ferryman extraordinaire (and an unwitting moron too)!

7. My sis, who actually bought the house, was sitting pretty in the US while I did the slogging. Yeah… shes' smart, I‘m not. Big deal… old story… move on!

8. The R.O.M. (rest of the mohalla)… turned up for the free (and tasteless) sit-down lunch. They didn’t care if they knew us… they wanted food. It was like Somalia. It was embarassing for me to ask who they were (Hey! I'm not from there). Shouldn’t they introduce themselves?

I said it was interesting to see how people reacted. It was more like I had no other choice. Bleh… gotta love these rituals right?

Life's Tough!

2008-10-03T09:15:00.003+05:30

Just a little something I came across on the internet:

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were attending their first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you should not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body'. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, Stuck his finger in the butt of the dead pig, withdrew it and stuck his Finger in his mouth.

'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead pig And sucking on it. When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle Finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention..

Life's Tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid.

Happiness! Why doth thou be so elusive?

2008-09-25T09:55:00.003+05:30

Is happiness a concept rather than a state of mind? If it is a state of mind, I have found it very difficult to achieve it. Happiness is elusive and obscure. I come to realize that the more I try to look for it, the more elusive it is. I keep assuming that a particular thing or a particular event will give me the happiness I crave for. But when I get there, I don't find myself happy. At least, not the way I thought I'd be.

As a child, it had never been a problem for me to stay happy. At every point in time, something or the other would fascinate me -- captivate my imagination and make me happy. At some point in time, the illusion ended and all I'm left with now are bleak reminders of those happy times and lots of unfulfilled dreams and empty promises. The key to happiness is to believe in the possibility that happiness will come around. However, when it becomes too hard to believe in happiness, all you are left with is a futile search for a paradise lost.

In my search for happiness, I have seen people who have achieved happiness and their stories are amazing as well as heartwarming. I see happiness in people who are content with their lives. Desires do not rule their lives like they do mine. My desires may not be material but they are still desires and they make me yearn for more than what I have. Is there a source for eternal happiness? These people claim there is such a source. My quest, possibly futile, continues.

They say, life is a long ride. I'd like to enjoy it while I can.

9 Days To Go

2008-09-10T16:17:00.002+05:30

The trip to Vizag is slowly piecing itself together. We have the accommodation bit taken care of. One of the guys is planning the itinerary for the trip. We'll might need to make some side plans if the itinerary sucks :) I just want to go there and enjoy. This year hasn't been that great and I'm looking at this trip as the silver lining to the otherwise dark cloud.

I know that Raj and Fatty are both excited about the trip too. I'm planning to trip while on this trip :P Something tells me that this trip will be more memorable than any other I've been on. :D

I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance.

2008-09-10T16:09:00.001+05:30

Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

When after all this time that you still owe
You're still, a good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
Is where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow

So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

Through The Fire And The Flames!

2008-08-25T10:30:00.002+05:30

Dragonforce - Such awesome guitaring and drumming.... they are absolutely awesome!

On a cold winter morning
In the time before the light
In flames of death's eternal reign
We ride towards the fight

When the darkness has fallen down
And the times are tough alright
The sound of evil laughter falls
Around the world tonight

Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel
Through the wastelands evermore
The scattered souls will feel the hell
Bodies wasted on the shores

On the blackest waves in hell's domain
We watch them as they go
Through fire and pain and once again we know!

So now we fly ever free
We're free before the thunderstorm
On towards the wilderness
Our quest carries on

Far beyond the sundown
Far beyond the moonlight
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls!

So far away we wait for the day
For the light source so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

As the red day is dawning
And the lightning cracks the sky
They'll raise their hands to the heavens above
With resentment to their lies

Running back through the midmorning light
There's a burning in my heart
We're banished from the time in a foreign land
To a life beyond the stars

In your darkest dreams see to believe
Our destiny is time
And endlessly we'll all be free tonight!

And on the wings of a dream
So far beyond reality
All alone in desperation
Now the time has gone

Lost inside you'll never find
Lost within my own mind
Day after day this misery must go on!

So far away we wait for the day
For the light source so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

Now here we stand with their blood on our hands
We fought so hard, now can we understand
I'll break the seal of this curse if I possibly can
For freedom of every man!

So far away we wait for the day
For the light source so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

Foot in the ass!

2008-08-13T18:07:00.004+05:30

The super compilation of the famous 'dumbass' and 'foot in the ass' dialogues by Red Foreman. Hilarious.. esp the one about the book that his foot wrote. :D

In-Dependence Day!

2008-08-12T23:01:00.003+05:30

6 P.M. I'm sitting in my cab with my windows rolled up and the A.C. turned on at full blast at the insistence of the lady sitting in the rear seat. Shifting uncomfortably in those rigid seats, my gaze fell on this little five or six year old girl running from car to car asking people to buy the miniature national flags.

The irony of it all struck me suddenly. This poor child who should be studying and playing was out in one of Hyderabad's busiest junctions, inhaling harmful gases, and trying to earn some extra money for some ungrateful slobs who find child labor acceptable. The sweetheart stood at my window trying to gaze through the darkened film hoping to land a sale. I ended up buying two flags. I don't feel inclined to help people who beg but I felt incredibly lost this time around.

I couldn't figure out who I felt more sorry for. Was I sorry for this poor child and for problems? Or was I sorry for the plight of this nation which after more than sixty years of independence and having young people as a dominant fraction of its population still had small children begging on the street?

This independence day, will these children sing the national anthem? Will they get to have some sweets and get to have the day to themselves? A more probable possibility is that they will be right there at the same traffic halt begging for money. Whos responsible for all this? I keep listening to people blaming the government for this: "If TDP was still in power, these kids would not have been begging. What has the Congress done for them?" The same arguments are made about the TDP when they're in power. When does it end?

I can't blame anyone but myself. Each one of us need to look in to our hearts to find the love for these people. Do your thing for these kids. Do whatever little you can and do it wholeheartedly. Kindness always finds its way back to you. Till then, penny for your thoughts.

Vizag it is!

2008-08-07T09:20:00.001+05:30

A tiny little update: I can take Raj along if he wants to come along. Today is gonna be about convincing him to bunk his office more often :)

Trip to Vizag - Sept 08

2008-08-07T00:04:00.003+05:30

My team at work is planning a weekend trip to Vizag in September. I think this is going to be great fun and will give an opportunity to visit what I ideally should call my 'home town.' Well, I am a Hyderabadi and all but my family from my dad's side comes from Vizag.

The plan is to get there on September 19, 2008 and be back on September 21, 2008. During our small holiday, we're planning to visit the various beaches like the R.K. beach and the Bimli beach. A small trip to Aruku is also on the cards. For those who dont know, Aruku Hills are famous for their incredible beauty and rich landscape. There is an Aruku valley too that is equally beautiful but the tours to Aruku Hills is extremely popular.

I also get to take one friend of mine along. No prizes for guessing who thats gonna be. Told Liz about this and she seemed to think that this may not be such a great idea because the monsoons take a longer time to get done with in the coastal areas. But then again, rains are what will make our trip to Vizag even more memorable. I wont need to carry a camera and all this time as Srikanth will be along too. The guys got a camera and a video camera. There'll be no dearth of pictures :) I wish I could have taken Raj (the jackass writing silly anonymous comments) along too. :D

I have some pics of the place too. My internet connection at home does not have the bandwidth to upload all those images. Will upload them tomorrow (or today actualy as it is 12:30 AM).

Stay With Me

2008-08-04T19:18:00.002+05:30

Discover Ironik!

Brother and sister
Together will make it through
Some day a spirit will
Take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurtin'
But I've been waitin' to
Be there for you
And I'll be there just helpin'
You out whenever I can
Everybodys Free
Listen this ones for all
The ones showin love,
Its appreciated life's crazy man Listen to the lyrics

CHORUS.
Stay with me don't fall asleep
Too soon the angels can wait
For a moment
(They can wait for a moment)
Stay with me don't fall asleep
Too soon the angels can wait
For a moment.

Listen, listen to the words
VERSE 1.
Don't cry for me when I'm gone
No point of wasted tears our
Time will come one day and I'm
Just confronting my fears
Though its not really a fear
It's more like a destiny some
Times i sit and wondered is this
Life really for me, cause'
Ive seen, seen, heard, felt,
I'm done. I hope you're proud of
Where I've come, you've seen me
Grow and helped me through,
And there is no repayin you,
I'm here and i feel like I'm
Delayin you, betrayin you,
And when I'm gone i hope theres
Somone savin' you.

CHORUS
Stay with (Im gonna stay, listen)
Mee dont fall asleep too soon
(Im gnna try not to) the angels
Can wait for a moment
(They can wait man, i swear)
Stay with me dont fall asleep
Too soon the angels
(Im gonna hold on)
Can wait for a moment.

VERSE 2

I wanna see your face
Every time i come home cause'
I cant leave u like this
In this cold world alone,
But, in this life were livin'
Who knows when ill be gone,
I dont wanna leave you
With what ifs, now im in for
Long (To the world)
Theres to much to prove, and Sometimes i wonder what i
Really have to lose, and then
I really see its not all
About me, i wanna shield you from
This harsh mad reality, its real.

CHORUS.
(Like, lifes risky sometimes,
But really, u gotta take your Chances)
Stay with me dont fall asleep
Too soon the angels can wait
For a moment(Its crazy look)
Stay with me dont fall asleep
Too soon the angels can wait
For a moment.
(Listen to the words)

Verse 2

To the world,
Lifes a game and we need to
Play it correct, do the
Right moves and dont get caught
Up in loadsa mess,
Be calm dont be stressed,
Be sure to pass the test,
Stand ur ground an dont let
Others put you to the test
(Repeat)

CHORUS.
Stay with me dont fall asleep
Too soon the angels can wait
For a moment (x3)

Tired, Irritated and Bloody Bored.

2008-07-27T21:55:00.002+05:30

This is turning out to be a bad bad month. I thought the last month was lousy but then this one comes along and takes the cake. Now, despite whatever little savings I had, I am paying a tiny fortune as tax. I spent my whole weekend running around trying to get my stuff in order and I had no time for relaxation. God I'm whining now.

Fine... talking about something positive..... DAMN! There ain't anything positive about this bloody month. I have some dumb training from tomorrow and that should be a good break for me. Being able to finish work by 5:30 will be a boon. Yeah, this may be a good start to the new month.

What I'm listening to on 25th July 2008

2008-07-25T17:39:00.002+05:30

Yeah ... so, some of them are old :D

Places I've been to...

2008-06-25T09:50:00.001+05:30

So, I put this little widget at the bottom of the page that shows all the places I've been to so far. Not many but the list is growing. Check it out!

The Story of the Flood

2008-06-18T15:01:00.003+05:30

So, our trainer came up with this rather interesting topic for a group discussion which she felt would help the class figure out the advantages, disadvantages and the necessity for this medium of instruction. So, she told us about these two lovers who lived on opposite sides of a river (!). They would meet on the bridge that would connect the two rivers. Then came this huge flood that swept the bridge away. Then, the lovers had no choice but to use unconventional methods (!!) like placards (from across the flooding river) to communicate (!!!) and express their love. So, one fine day the guy does not turn up to wave his placard and the girl is crushed. This continues for about a week and thats when the girl starts getting panicky and decides that it is time to cross the river. She approaches this fisherman and asks him to take her across (in a flood). The fisherman on his part has a habit of being a lazy layabout who likes passing lewd comments and teasing the girl. He tells her that he can take her across the river only if she comes alone and at night. She eventually agrees and gets across the river without any more excitement in her life (thank god!!). She walks up to her lovers place and pushes the door open. At this point in time, the trainer mentions that the dwelling is a hut that has seen the worst of the flood. Anyway, so she pushes it open and confronts the guy who is on the bed (presumably floating around the room) with his leg in a cast. When he sees her, he apparently questions her and finding his authority and his pride challenged, addresses her in an aggravated tone and asks her to go back. "Now comes the fun part," says the trainer and proceeds to ask us whose fault was it?

My conclusions:

1. None of the three characters can be blamed for the flood.
2. It is not possible to wave placards from across a flooding river as physics dictates that the river swells up in the middle preventing the parties from being able to see eachother.
3. On the same lines as the point above, waving placards from across a river would still be useless, unless the placards were at least a 100 ft in length and presumably wider too (esp if they intend to say anything more than a 'hi')
4. The fisherman can't be blamed as it is possible that he works in the day and has no time to waste on a girl who obviously is not an economically beneficial obligation.
5. How is any of this the 'fun part'?

Am I missing something?

Finally home ...!

2008-06-18T14:56:00.004+05:30

We got a new washing machine. A new IFB Elena with a 5 Kg load capacity with the usual jazz. We opted out of a digital display and control because of the huge number of programming glitches reported by semi-moderately informed friends. So, they came and delivered it last night and are (should have by now) going to install it today.

What was sad (and pointless) was the way they hauled the old washing machine out. Apparently (again not self-acquired data), the older one was one of the oldest models that IFB had introduced in India. I suppose its on its way to getting recycled now. Served me well all these years. Will certainly make sure this one works well too.

Status Update!!!

2008-06-14T10:00:00.000+05:30

Status Update: So, she called. She is there. Phew!

I hate transits!

2008-06-14T09:38:00.003+05:30

So, shes gone. First to Doha and then to NY. Whats bugging me is why she hasn't called so far. I guess she must have reached Doha by now. That could mean one of two things. Either she did not have the time to call as she was in transit, or she did not bother to call. The former is rather improbable because she was to be in transit for over 2 hours which would mean that she would have had all the time in the world. The latter is sadly a distinct possibility as I have shown such wayward trends in the not so recent past. All in all, one simple question: WHERE THE HELL IS SHE????

Simple Plan - When I'm Gone

2008-06-13T12:06:00.003+05:30

When Im Gone - Simple Plan

I look around me
But all I seem to see
Its people going nowhere
Expecting sympathy
It’s like we’re going through the emotions
Of the scripted destiny
Tell me where’s our inspiration
If life won’t wait
I guess it’s up to me

Whoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We wont come back, the world its coming out
Whoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

Procrastination running circles in my head
While you sit there contemplating you’ll wind up left for dead (left for dead)
Life it’s what happens
While you’re busy making your excuses
Another day, another casualty
But that won’t happen to me

Whoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We wont come back, the world its coming out
[ When I'm Gone lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Whoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m goooone
When I’m gooone

Let’s go…!
Won’t look back
When I say goodbye
We’re gonna leave this world behind me
Gonna take what’s mine tonight
‘cause every wasted day
Becomes a wasted chance
You’re gonna wake up feeling sorry
‘cause life won’t wait
I guess it’s up to you

Whoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We wont come back, the world its coming out
Whoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

On a record...

2008-06-10T06:10:00.002+05:30

Just after helping set a Guinness world record in San Jose. I was part of a massive cake making lesson and thats me posing next to my work of art. :D

Hola IFB

2008-06-09T20:14:00.002+05:30

The day came and went. My Noogler (sounds weird when you say it) never came. The HR never bothered to let us know that some of them will be joining next week. Convenient. So, I've been made the temporary point of contact for this buddy program. In short, I take care of their requirements and their needs and also take feedback about them from their buddies. lol...

We just went and picked up a washing machine. Its an IFB front loader. Cheapest you can get model. Got it for 14000. I just dont understand why they need to buy the cheapest model there is. Bwah... I am tired. Need to go get some shuteye... adios world.

Random Tech

2008-06-09T17:14:00.002+05:30

So, I also have this small public blog called 'Random Tech' which usually has posts about new technology, game reviews and walkthroughs and quite a bit about online advertising and networking. Visit it and comment if there is something to comment on. Not all posts are mine but are referenced. I suppose it is the knowledge that matters at the end of the day. Also contributing to this are Ritwik and Srikanth (eventually at least.)

See you there.

Next Saturday :(

2008-06-08T08:12:00.002+05:30

So, my sister is suddenly having to leave for the US this Saturday. I guess the word 'suddenly' does not quite apply because my dad has been going on about this for ages and she is finally getting to go. Everyone is excited about the trip. She hates being the center of attention. Now, every aunt and uncle wants to give her those vital survival tips. They make going to the US sound like she has to spend the rest of her life in Afghanistan. Poor kid.

Today, I'm going to check out the new Adlabs movie theater in Ameerpet. The guys went and decided to watch Indiana Jones. I still cant imagine why a man could be called Indiana Jones. I think that is too stupid a name for a woman, leave alone a man. Anyways, one of the few things I learned over the past few years is not to question American intelligence. I say we leave them be and go watch a 50 year old wannabe Lara Croft do his thing. Amen t'that.

NO! The name is ...

2008-06-05T22:19:00.002+05:30

Umm... the girl's name is Shweta. My bad. I hope she does not read this... :)

June 05 '08 :)

2008-06-05T19:56:00.003+05:30

So, we had a private taxis and vehicles strike today and it is expected to go right through the weekend. Google gave us a holiday for tomorrow. Yeah joy huh? Naah. I have to work from home and I need to be doing a hell of a lot of work. :(

That does not mean that I will do so much work :D I suppose I will go to work on Monday on my bike. I don't want to have to go in the RTC bus all crowded and all. On Monday, we're getting what we call Nooglers. In short, new Googlers. I was one of them at one point in time. In fact, I even wrote about it in on of my older posts. I need to welcoming a girl called Shilpa and she will be sitting next to me. Sort of a like a buddy program.

I was supposed to watch Narnia: Prince Caspian today but everyone ditched me in the end :( But thats ok. I think I'll live :)

I need to write about something else now...

2008-06-05T19:39:00.003+05:30

I dont feel like writing about the Singapore trip anymore. It was a fun trip that I found rather tough (lazy ol' me) to sum up in words. I will try and put up pics in the picture blog link though. Hopefully, you'll relive the trip through the pictures. And, that will leave me free to write about something else. :)

En Route to Singapore...

2008-05-21T10:31:00.005+05:30

Finally, after all the drama at the airport, we finally get on to the plane. Bye Bye Hyderabad. I don't think I'll miss you that much. So, we're on to a Singapore Airlines plane. It is supposed to be their new A380s. These planes are rather cramped. And for some sad reason I was being called 'Polisetty' and I always was mistaken for being a vegetarian and I get the middle seat ... ALWAYS!!! Bloddy travel agency always screws up. So, they have this nice miniature TV screen for watching movies and all. After the excitement wore down (it took nearly half an hour,) the nightmare began. They came and served us what they called food.

The only edible thing in all that was the bun and butter. So, I quietly eat up whatever I could and politely ask the air hostess to remove the plate as it was really cramped in there and I couldn't reach for the damned remote to change the channel or at least shut the damn thing off. She gives me big Singaporean smile, white teeth and no eyes and all, and says she'll do that right away and comes back TWO hours later to clear the plate. So you see, service was pathetic. Unfortunate stuff to happen right at the very beginning.

But then, we reached Singapore. :D Here we go, our ride begins here!

All aboard - Next Stop Singapore!!!

2008-05-01T04:44:00.003+05:30

Finally the moment had come. I was finally, I say FINALLY, getting to go abroad. So, I went half-heartedly to work in the morning, pretended to work, did some work too and was all excited about evening. I left Google at about 3 PM for home. My cab mate for this trip was Dhruv. Loads of chatting and crazy heat and a drive of about an hour, I managed to get home. Had some chaat and then went and got ready. Dad and mom turned up to give me a grand send-off. While packing, I noticed that the medicines I was carrying are prescription drugs. Asthalin? Who'd have thought? So, dad and I rush out on our bikes and head to Sharada nursing home and somehow managed to get a prescription for the medicines. Got back quickly but Dhruv wasn't there yet. Left finally at 6:30 PM. My journey's started baby. The airport is so far far away. Shamshabad is like at the other end of the world. It took us forever (read 2 hours) to get there. The airport is nice and all. Far better than anything I had ever seen. Then again, I had hardly seen anything. The next few days were going to change my perspective. Adios Hyderabad! Mucho Gracias!!!

Illusion and Reality

2008-04-23T10:27:00.003+05:30

People say I have changed. Have I? Or has their perspective changed? I know one thing for sure. Awkwardly at first and confidently thereafter, I have started to appreciate people and have learned to like them for the good they have in them. With joy and happiness, I'd say that the healing has started.

A friend of mine at work says that she doesn't like me as much anymore. Could it be because I am a lot quieter. I hope that these people don't perceive my silence for arrogance. I am just a lot more introspective. Another friend of mine feels that I have become more caring and understanding. She thinks I have changed for the better. This has left me confused. Who has changed here?

Change is inevitable as is the change of perspective. Do I justify myself to anyone? Should I care for an incorrect opinion? Is it my place to influence decisions? If I have inadvertently done so, what is the remedy? Shouldn't I have the answers to all these questions? How do you justify illusions? How do you define reality?

Stop and Stare

2008-04-07T11:03:00.003+05:30

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

--
Stop and see,
Stop and feel;
Stop and love,
Stop and stare.
--

Archangel

2008-03-31T22:46:00.006+05:30

I haven't been able to blog of late. I've been experiencing what I'd like to call a creative vacuum. I'm trying to be as random as I can. As a friend of mine says, "All my life I have wanted to be different, but in doing so, I have been so ordinary." Ironic and subtle at the same time. What is it that prompts so many of us to be different? At what point in our existence does it stop being an effort and becomes a way of things done? Questions like these seldom are answered because this is a lifelong struggle to be different. Fight to be different so that you can be one among many and yet be the one above the others. The Archangel - the first among many.

Intelligence and Madness

2008-03-17T23:14:00.004+05:30

" A powerful wizard, who wanted to destroy an entire kingdom, placed a magic potion in the well from which all the inhabitants drank. Whoever drank that water would go mad.

The following morning, the whole population drank from the well and they all went mad, apart from the king and his family, who had a well set aside for them alone, and which the magician had not managed to poison. The king was worried and tried to control the population by issuing a series of edicts governing security and public health. The policemen and the inspectors, however, had also drunk the poisoned water and they thought the king's decisions were absurd and resolved to take no notice of them.

When the inhabitants of the kingdom heard these decrees, they became convinced that the king had gone mad and was now giving nonsensical orders. They marched on the castle and called for his abdication.

In despair, the king prepared to step down from his throne, but the queen stopped him, saying: "Let us go and drink from the communal well. Then, we will be the same as them."

And that was what they did: the king and the queen drank the water of madness and immediately began talking nonsense. Their subjects repented at once; now that the king was displaying such wisdom, why not allow him to continue ruling the country.

The country continued to live in peace, although its inhabitants behaved very differently from those of its neighbors. And the king was able to govern until the end of his days. "

-- excerpt from 'Veronika Decides To Die' by Paulo Coelho. --

It is a rather thin line that separates intelligence from insanity and also from vanity. In the king's kingdom, everyone was mad. However, everyone thought the king was mad. Its tough to tell who is correct and who is not if we do not know what is correct. Even if you somehow get to know that something is correct, how do you determine its accuracy? While intelligence is accepted knowledge, insanity most of time is the forerunner of evolution.